Marie: Hi, welcome back, Debra. How was your camping vacation?
Debra: What's going on?
Frank: Ah, camping. That's great. Hey, what did you use for toilet paper?
Debra: Toilet paper.
Frank: Then it wasn't really camping. I could tell you a story-
Debra: Okay, that's all right, Frank.

Ray: No, no. Listen, listen. I finished, okay? I ended up working through the night and I finished the first chapter. And then this morning, I was able to knock off the second, and then I just- I faxed it over to the guy.
Marie: Raymond worked very hard so he could get it all done, so he could have some time to relax, like you.

Ray: That was my agent. He said the publisher read my stuff and they decided they don't want me to write the book.
Debra: Oh, Ray, I'm sorry.
Marie: I don't understand. What happened?
Ray: I don't know, Ma. Guess they didn't think it was good.
Marie: Were there spelling errors?
Frank: It's the Yankees. How can you screw that up?
Ray: I don't know.

Ray: All right. That's great. Great, funny. Why don't you share a laugh over that with your boyfriend Robert.
Debra: Oh, right. So that's it. Robert. That's what this is all about.
Ray: No! Did you see him yesterday? Just flaunting his big news right in the middle of my horrible time.
Debra: He didn't flaunt it, Ray. We practically had to force him to tell us.
Ray: Oh, yeah. Did you force that big, stupid smile on his huge clown face?
Debra: You're nuts.
Ray: Yeah, and then then you go shower him with fancy gifts.
Debra: It was a sweater, and it's from both of us.
Ray: Yeah, well, I hope it's itchy 'cause that's the part from me.

Debra: You know Robert never gets anything and the one time that he does, what do you do? You slam the table and you walk out of the room, you big baby.
Ray: Yeah, I'm a baby, and you're a baby-marrier. All right, I slammed the table. So?
Debra: All right, here's what's going to happen. You're going to go over there tomorrow and congratulate Robert on his success. So at least you can look in the mirror and maybe see an adult.
Ray: At least I don't see what Robert sees when he looks in the mirror a stupid giant with a new sweater that looks like yarn... vomit. I can't even write my own talk.

Ray: Hey, what are you doing?
Robert: Hey, I'm watching golf. Mom and Dad aren't here, and I found Bugles.

Ray: Hey, we should go golfing again soon.
Robert: Sure.
Ray: That was fun the last time. What'd you shoot?
Robert: 93.
Ray: Oh. That's right 'cause I think I shot an 83. I was 10 strokes better than you. Hey, if you want, the next time we go I can give you some pointers on your putting.
Robert: And I can give you some pointers on your drives.
Ray: Then we'll go golfing then.
Robert: Yes, we will.