Ray: Look, listen, taking Gianni is the only fair thing, okay? If I had asked one of you to go, then the other one would have been mad.
Robert: No, you would have chosen a family member, and that would have been honorable.
Ray: Oh, come on. Dad, would you have been happy if I asked Robert to go?
Frank: Give me my ticket.

Ray: Can you believe this? It's the best assignment I've ever gotten, and I can't even enjoy it now 'cause everybody hates me.
Debra: I understand, Ray. You know what? It's your trip, and you're entitled to take your friend instead of your brother or your father... or your wife.
Ray: Wife?
Debra: Yeah, wife that's me, remember? [hums the bridal chorus]
Ray: Oh, I know the song... [hums] Yeah. I know that song. It was the happiest day of my life.
Debra: You get to go on this great trip, and it never even occurred to you to ask me.
Ray: But that's because this is football.
Debra: So what?
Ray: Oh, come on, if you had two tickets to the Pottery Barn Grand Championships, would you wanna take me?
Debra: Ray, I don't care about the football, but what about us getting away together? You're going to this nice hotel. We could have dinner.
Ray: Okay, see, that's the problem. I mean, the hotel with the paper's budget, it's probably a halfway house, and the food's gonna stink.
Debra: You just told me this was the greatest assignment you'd ever gotten.
Ray: Well, that's the key word assignment. Good. Nobody brings their wives, 'cause that weekend they're married to the game. [off Debra's look] Assignment.

Debra: You know what? You said you were gonna take Gianni, so you should take Gianni.
Ray: I told him I was gonna take him.
Debra: All right, so just go.
Ray: Look, I don't want to go if you're gonna hate me.
Debra: I don't hate you, Ray.
Ray: Oh, come on, look. When I get back, you and I, we'll go somewhere.
Debra: You know, we should because we never get away together.
Ray: Okay, then we will, all right? Okay, yeah. And we'll go where you wanna go, you know, "girlie land."
Debra: Okay.
Ray: Yeah, I mean it.
Debra: All right.
Ray: It'll be great. We'll wear matching sweaters, and we'll walk in the mountains, and we won't come home until we find a rainbow.

Ray: Wow, look at all you couples, yeah.
Mary Jo: Is Debra here?
Ray: Uh, no, no. She wanted to come, but her eye She got hit in the head with a flute, yeah. Yeah, the kids, they throw...
Mary Jo: Oh, my goodness.
Ray: No, no, she's okay. She's fine. She just can't look at things right now, yeah.
Mary Jo: Well, when I see her at school, I promise not to rub it in too much about all the fun she missed.
Ray: Yeah, right, right. Damn it, that's right. Yeah, yeah. Although if you did tell her, she probably wouldn't understand much, 'cause that flute thing banged her up pretty bad. Yeah, yeah.
Gianni: Here you go, Raymie. Got you sprinkles. No rules.

Ray: I'm sorry, Gianni.
Gianni: So when does she get here?
Ray: She's driving in from the airport now, man.
Gianni: I can't believe you're bringing her here.
Ray: All the guys brought their wives. Plus, she deserves to have some fun, you know? There's crafts festivals and outlet stores. Listen, it's not gonna affect us at all, man, huh? We're still gonna golf all day. It's just that at night, if there's a chance for hotel sex, I'd rather have her in the room than you.
Gianni: You don't know that.
Ray: Come on, man, we still get to go to the Super Bowl, all right? Isn't that what it's all about, huh? The Super Bowl, we're at the Super Bowl...

Ray: Don't you wanna go to the crafts place?
Debra: By myself?
Ray: No, what are you talking about? All the wives are going. That's what happens here. Every day the ladies do something really cool.
Debra: While the men golf.
Ray: That's what happens here.
Debra: And when are we together, Ray? Does that happen here?
Ray: No, I'm gonna see you tonight, right? And then it's gonna really happen. Come on, why aren't you happy? I thought you would like this.
Debra: Well, I can see why you like it, Ray. Because let me see if I get this itinerary correct. In the morning, you drop me off at wives' day camp, and then at night, I get to be your Super Bowl whore.
Ray: Wow, talk about putting a bad spin on it.

Ray: No, no, I don't get it. What? I'm here. I'm at the Super Bowl with my best friend. I'm having a great time, with your blessing, mind you, and then I see the other wives are here, and they're having fun, and I thought you would have fun too. I really did. I really thought that you would like it. Instead, you're yelling at me. That's not fair. You weren't even supposed to be here.
Debra: What did you say?
Ray: What, the whole thing?
Debra: No, just that last thing.
Ray: Oh, whatever that was, that wasn't the last thing, 'cause the last thing was gonna be "I'm sorry, and I'm stupid." Oh, oh- Come on. What's the matter?
Debra: You know what? You never make plans with me. We hardly spend any time together, and it doesn't seem to bother you. The last thing we did together, what was it? Uh... Oh, we stopped at a drive-thru on the way home from me taking you to the doctor to get your ear drained.
Ray: That's right. We had those great tacos.
Debra: Look, I know that this is the Super Bowl, but it's just I was so happy on the plane ride over here, because I thought that you... Oh, you know, forget it. I'm gonna go home.
Ray: No, no, you're not gonna go home. No, look, I'm not gonna go golfing. I'll go to the press conference, then you and I get the first shuttle to the 50 countries.
Debra: No, Ray.
Ray: No, come on. I want to. Then after that, we're gonna have dinner, and then after that, no sex. You deserve it.

Debra: Why would you rip up the Super Bowl tickets? I don't want you to give up the Super Bowl. How selfish do you think I am? You love the Super Bowl.
Ray: That's the point I'm trying to make. I love you more than the Super Bowl!
Debra: Well, the offer would have been enough. For the rest of my life I'm gonna be known as the wife who made you eat your Super Bowl tickets!
Ray: No, wait a minute. I only ate the tickets so you could be happy. You have to be happy now.
Debra: Nobody told you to do that!
Ray: That's the good part. I wanna spend time with you!
Debra: And I wanna spend time with you!
Ray: Well, we got plenty of time now!
Ray: Now I'm a little unhappy.
Debra: What about Gianni? You ripped up his ticket, too. What are you gonna tell him?
Ray: That you made me do it.