Frank: Hey, Suzy, I got that.
Suzy: Really? Hey, Nemo, Frank's picking up a tab.
Nemo: Don't take a check from him.
Frank: Hey, don't embarrass me in front of my international guests, all right? I'm buying. [to Robert & Ray] Hey, you two, we're splitting this.

Marco: I want to say something. I come to America to take care for Stefania. But I also dream always to come to this country and it is like a dream. I like the people. I like the life here very much, with the large drinks and so much ice. And I have to say, I did not like so much this one. [points to Robert] But now I do. And I know Stefania do. So what I will tell you now is we stay.
Robert: What? Where?
Marco: Here. Lynbrook, America.
Debra: Congratulations to you both!
Stefania: It's great surprise, no?
Robert: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, great surprise. But you just can't live here. What will you do, sir?
Marco: Who knows? I like this place. Maybe I buy.
Ray: Oh, Nemo would never sell.
Marco: I think maybe he do. [to Robert] I want to thank you for taking care of my daughter.
Robert: Don't mention it.

Robert: Hey, everybody.
Marie: Hi, Robby. Cookie?
Robert: What's the point?
Ray: What's your problem?
Robert: I don't think it's gonna work out with Stefania.
Ray: Oh, give me a break.
Marie: What are you talking about? In Italy, the two of you couldn't get enough of each other.
Robert: I don't know. It's not the same.
Frank: Hey, look at her. Look at you. Grab on and don't let go.

Debra: You know, Robert, I wouldn't be surprised if you're having these feelings because deep down inside you still care for Amy.
Robert: No, no, it's not Amy and it's not Cream of Wheat. The truth is... Stefania's annoying.
Ray: What?
Frank: If by "annoying," you mean "ha-cha-cha-cha-cha," then I'm right with you.
Robert: No, she's always touching me.
Ray: Oh, that's gotta be rough.
Frank: Why the hell would you not want her to touch you?
Robert: She poked me in the ass with a putter.
Frank: She could hit me in the head with a hammer. I wouldn't care.

Marie: Robby, I think that's like flirting.
Ray: Yeah, it sounds like you're nitpicking, man.
Robert: Look, I know Stefania is beautiful, okay? But, you know, we've been out a few times now and the more time I spend with her, I realize that there's nothing there.
Marie: Robby, are you very sure you're not homosexual?
Robert: Ma!
Marie: I'm just asking.

Robert: You know what? If Stefania was staying for, like, a week, I could put up with it, but now they're talking about staying here for good. So what, am I supposed to take care of her forever, huh? I gotta marry her now?
Marie: [looks at Frank] There are worse things, dear.
Robert: Plus, I got her father Signore Scary-ola watching me with those eyes. I mean, it's too much. I can't take it.

Stefania: I am hungry. Do you have food for me?
Robert: More? Just a second.
Stefania: Maybe you have hot dogs.
Robert: One second. It's like dropping wood into a chipper.

Robert: Listen, Stefania, I'll always cherish the moments we had together, but I just didn't want you to move here for the wrong reasons. Hey, come on.
Stefania: [Italian:] "Don't touch me! I can't believe I came to America for you. You couldn't even call me yourself. You had to have your mother beg me to come!"
Robert: No, no, no, no, no, that was her idea. She's crazy.
Stefania: [Italian:] "What are you, her puppet? She pulls the strings and you dance like Pinocchio?"
Robert: No, no, no, no, Pinocchio this time. You see, she wanted me to marry you, but I said I couldn't because you're annoying.
Stefania: Annoying? What does this mean, annoying?
Robert: I don't know.
Stefania: Liar. I am sick to look to you!
Robert: Well, listen, we can still be friends. You see, in America, you don't break up. You stay friends. That's what you do.
Stefania: Not in Italy.
Robert: Annoying. Listen, I did the right thing. Morally, I did the right thing. [Stefania throws Robert's uniform back to him] There better be a heaven.

Robert: Hey, Nemo, I'll take a slice. Signore Fogagnolo, hi. What are you doing here?
Marco: I told you. We stay in America.
Robert: Oh, so you work here now?
Marco: I own here now.
Robert: You own? What happened to Nemo?
Marco: He go away.
Robert: W-what? W-where?
Marco: Away.
Robert: [clears throat] Listen, Signore Fogagnolo, about Stefania... I am a homosexual.