Andy: Come here, Raygeleh. You're worried that you're not going to accomplish everything you set out to do in life.
Ray: I am?
Andy: Who knows? But I went to this self-improvement seminar to meet women and I learned that people with goals don't worry so much about getting old.
Ray: Did you meet anyone?
Andy: No one. Apparently, I don't appeal to women with goals.

Andy: You know what you got to do, Ray, what they made us do at the seminar. You make a list of the 100 things you want to do before you die.
Ray: 100?
Kevin: I can come up with, like, four.
Andy: Easy. You just think of the stuff that you want in your life that you don't have.
Ray: Look, I don't need any of that, all right? All I need is another quarter-inch.
Gianni: Who doesn't?

Debra: All right. You know what? Maybe the reason that you can't come up with any goals for yourself is that, in your own Ray way, you're actually content.
Ray: Where are you picking up that vibe?
Debra: Look at the facts. You have a great job, a wonderful family, a loving wife who weighs nowhere near 140.
Ray: Yeah, so what are you saying?
Debra: So I think maybe you've already accomplished more than you've ever dreamed of.
Ray: You really think so?
Debra: I do. Maybe you're one of the lucky people who's actually living his dream.
Ray: Wow.
Debra: Yeah. See? You feel better? [off Ray's look] What? What, Ray?
Ray: I'm thinking if what you said is true, and I've already done everything, then I guess this is all there is.

Ray: Listen, I want to ask you guys something. When I was a kid, do you remember me having a dream?
Frank: I remember you wetting the bed.
Ray: No, I don't mean that. I mean, like, what did I want to be?
Frank: Dry.

Frank: Ray, you want some of this action?
Ray: Look, at least he's got a dream, right?
Robert: Are you making fun, too?
Ray: No, I'm actually jealous. You have a dream. I've got nothing.
Robert: Nothing? You've got nothing?
Ray: What?
Robert: House, wife, little daughter, twin boys. That's nothing to you? That was my dream! Hello! So why don't you go take your little mid-life "I'm shrinking, I'm dying, I don't have any dreams" and go right back across the street to paradise.

Ray: Look, I know you're not excited about spending eternity with my parents but it's not going to be like now, when all they have to do is cross the street. I mean, they're going to have to bust out of their coffins and tunnel through the dirt just to get to our coffin. And then they're banging and... And we could pretend we're not even there.

Ray: Look, don't tell me how to have a mid-life crisis, okay? What would you know about it?
Debra: Because I've already had mine.
Ray: Really?
Debra: Yes, a while ago.
Ray: Oh, was that the perm?
Debra: No.
Ray: 'Cause that didn't look good.

Debra: Listen, you do whatever you need to do. As for me, I'm going to put these tea bags on my puffy eyes and dream about my bed-and-breakfast by the lake. Oh, good night.
Ray: Hey, can you put these in sneakers?
Debra: Put them anywhere you want.
Ray: Feeling tall and smelling good.
Debra: Idiot.

Ray: I don't know. This is all happening too fast.
Debra: We don't have to do it today, Ray. I'm just trying to get you thinking.
Ray: I'm thinking I'd better come up with something before I end up with your bed-and-breakfast tucking in a gay couple from Cleveland.

Frank: Marathon, huh? Put me down for a buck a mile.
Ray: You don't pledge for this one, Dad.
Frank: I'm not pledging, I'm betting. I say you'll cry like a little girl by mile two.