Marie: What are those, doughnuts?
Frank: Get lost.
Marie: You better save one for Robbie. He's coming over.
Frank: Oh, great. Mopey Dick.

Robert: Hey. What's up, bro?
Ray: Well, bro, word has it you're going to Vegas.
Robert: Yep. I'm hopping on the big silver bird at 8:45 tomorrow. By 1:45, the Emperor's Buffet at Caesars Palace shrimp, tacos, waffles and turkey legs!
Frank: And, hey, while you're in Vegas, you can pick up Ray's "Sucker of the Year" award.

Robert: All right, I'll see you guys later.
Ray: Hold it, Robert. You don't see anything wrong with taking my money and going to Vegas?
Robert: You mean the money I never asked for that you gave me as a gift?
Ray: Come on! You came in our house with a big crying act, and then you ate all my cookies.
Debra: Can I just say something?
Ray: No. The last thing you said cost me $1,000.

Ray: Here. Go to Vegas.
Robert: No. I can't. I don't want to. Sorry for what I said, Raymond. You deserve everything you got. I'm just a jealous jerk.
Ray: I don't know what you're jealous about. I mean you dream of taking a vacation in Vegas. You know what I dream of? Five minutes in the bathroom without a gang of maniacs pounding on the door.
Robert: Yeah, but at least if you pass out in there, you've got someone to come and find you.
Ray: What do you do in the bathroom?

Robert: Hey, you know what? Why don't you come with me?
Ray: Where? Vegas?
Robert: Come on, the Barone Brothers on the Strip.
Ray: No, I can't go there. I'll go one day, probably 10 years from now to drag Ally out of a casino chapel.

Robert: And guys they're having to take second jobs, people are dipping into their retirement funds. It's rough out there. So, I had to cancel my cable, but thought maybe I can come over here and watch a movie on your satellite.
Ray: You canceled cable?
Robert: Oh, yeah, but that's okay. You know, I gotta shift my focus, re-evaluate my priorities.
Ray: You couldn't keep basic cable?
Robert: I'm doing what needs to be done, Raymond, across the board. You know, you'd be surprised how inexpensive and versatile bologna is.
Debra: What are you talking about?
Robert: Bologna. It's great. I made it in casseroles, stew, salad. I even put it into a pie.
Ray: How was that?
Robert: Not too good.

Debra: Ray, what about Robert?
Ray: Well, he's coming off bologna pie.
Debra: We need to help him.
Ray: What do you mean, like milk?
Debra: Money. He needs money. Weren't you listening?
Ray: Yeah. He didn't ask for money.
Debra: Because he's too proud to ask.
Ray: Well, it's a good system. He keeps his pride, we keep our money.

Marie: What's going on?
Ray: Yeah, we did a nice thing.
Frank: Hey, it's a box of doughnuts. You're not Mother Teresa.
Ray: No! Dad, we did something for Robert.
Marie: What did you do? He just told us that he's been going through a rough patch financially, so we helped him out a little.
Marie: You mean with money?
Ray: Yeah.
Marie: How much?
Ray: $1,000.
Marie: [gasps]
Frank: What are you two, idiots?

Marie: Hey, where you going? Robbie, do you want a doughnut?
Robert: Oh, I'd love to, Ma, but there's a couple things I have to take care of before I go on vacation.
Ray: Vacation?
Robert: Yep. Las Vegas, Nevada! Oh, I need my flip-flops. [exits]
Frank: [laughs]

Debra: Did he just say he's going to Las Vegas?
Frank: Nevada!
Ray: Robert. Robert!
Robert: [o.s.] Yeah?!
Ray: Do you have a moment?! Can you believe this?