Marie: I've always been aware of this feeling of superiority. And now that you've made it so obvious, maybe it's best if I'm the one to go out and get that dear man.
Ray: "Dear man?" Something's loose.

Marie: Okay, well, I'm going back across the street. Who's coming with me? [grabs Robert's ear]
Robert: Ow! I'll go with you, Ma.
Marie: Anyone else?
Frank: She ain't my mother.
Debra: Go ahead, Ray.
Marie: Raymond?
Ray: Look, I shouldn't have to choose, okay? This is not my fight! Can't you two just start talking already? Come on, it's Mother's Day! Can't one of you two mothers just say something?

Ray: Mmm. Man, I love a pickle. Juicy. Mmm. You know what's great about a pickle? It's like a food and a drink.
Mmm.

Judy: Hey, partner, remember me?
Robert: Yes, Judy. I worked with you on the force, but I've given up that life to become a full-time "pathist." I've almost got the green shirt.
Judy: This is bad. All right, Ray, I want you to say somethin' to Robert.
Ray: No, look, I can't talk. I'm not a talk person.
Judy: Ray, I want you to speak to your brother today like he matters!
Ray: He does matter to me, Judy! I just I can't stand seein' him like this!
Judy: Don't tell me!
Ray: [to Robert] Okay, look, I know I don't say this enough, but you are my brother and I love you. Okay, but h-here's the thing you should know that by now, right? I don't have to tell ya. I mean, yeah, yeah, we get mad at each other, but we never let it get too far, you know, 'cause... 'cause we're family. And we don't walk away. This this is walkin' away. And I don't want you to do it, because you're like a part of me.

Robert: What's with you? What happened?
Ray: Nothing, nothing. I went to the drugstore and it's kinda windy out. Let me ask you something. What does it mean when a woman pats you on your... you know, on your bottom?
Gianni: What drugstore did you go to?
Ray: No. It didn't happen at the drugstore. I drove Ally to a friend's house and it was the mom. You know that scout leader Peggy?
Gianni: The cookie lady fondled you?
Ray: Yeah.
Gianni: Get any cookies?
Ray: No!

Marie: Raymond, you know that I care for Debra's parents a great deal.
Ray: Everybody knows that.
Marie: Don't be fresh. Why are Warren and Lois here?
Ray: I don't know. I'm just as surprised as you are, Mom.
Marie: I'm not surprised, Raymond. I'm disappointed.
Ray: All right, no, don't. Don't get disappointed.
Marie: Isn't this my present? You finally got me a decent present.
Ray: It's still decent, Mom. Look, all right, just help Robert tuck his shirt in, or something.