Ray Quote #1619
Quote from Ray in Who's Next?
Ray: All right. Ugh... Okay, well, how 'bout if I get Linda, then you get Bernie?
Debra: Bernie?
Ray: Yeah. What? It's perfect.
Debra: Bernie?
Ray: Wait a minute. I know what this is about.
Debra: What?
Ray: He's fat.
Debra: That is not the reason!
Ray: Yes, it is. There's no reason you shouldn't be attracted to Bernie except for all the extra Bernie.
Debra: I don't even think he's that fat.
Ray: Oh, yes he is! Look, he knows it. We make fun of him all the time! We call him "blimpy, Hindenbernie, fat boy." He doesn't care, he's our friend. Our fatty-fat friend.
Debra: Is that why you picked him for me? So I wouldn't be attracted to him?
Ray: You see? You admit it! You are shallow.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Who's Next?’ Quotes
Quote from Frank
Marie: Shame on you! This lady dies, and this is all she gets?
Frank: Hey, Marie, you two weren't that close. What are you takin' it so hard for?
Marie: Because she was the one, Frank. She was the one I picked for you.
Frank: What?
Marie: I wanted you to be with Rose Caputo.
Linda: Kinky neighborhood.
Marie: Years ago, I decided to pick someone to replace me if I died before you.
Frank: What do you mean? To marry me?
Marie: Yes. Someone to make you happy after I was gone.
Frank: Oh, that's nice, Marie, but, uh... I think I'd be happy enough.
Quote from Debra
Debra: I picked someone to replace me.
Ray: Yeah? Who?
Debra: Margaret Stevens.
Ray: Who?
Debra: The kids' preschool teacher. I think she's perfect for you.
Ray: Perfect?! She's gotta be- She's old enough to be my mother!
Debra: I thought you would like that.
Ray: Oh! Ho ho. Yeah. How about I replace you with somebody nice?
Quote from Ray
Ray: How about Robert?
Debra: What?
Ray: Well, I was thinkin' about it, and if I died, I'd pick Robert to replace me. What's the matter? Too tall?
Debra: No! He's your brother, and he's marrying my best friend.
Ray: Well, you didn't like it when I said Bernie, so I gave it some real thought, and knowing you as a person, or whatever, I... You know, I think I came up with a good choice Robert no?
Debra: No. It's- I don't even want to think about it, it's too creepy.
Ray: It's not creepy. Here's how it would happen: The four of us are in Robert's car, we get in an accident, and Amy and I die.
Debra: That's not creepy?
Ray: No. The beauty of it is, the way I figure it, Robert feels so guilty about his driving, he's rendered impotent. Yeah. Otherwise, it would be weird.