Debra Quote #486
Debra: I saw the invitation, Ray.
Ray: No. It's burned and it's down the drain.
Debra: I know what you did.
Ray: Wh- What do you what do you mean?
Debra: Robert told us about the help you gave him. Faking incompetence so he wouldn't have to do anything for his own wedding? Amy's a mess!
Ray: Okay, look, Robert he didn't explain it right. Stupid, stupid, Robert! It's to make Amy's life easier!
Debra: It's to make his life easier! You told him to screw up their wedding! What is wrong with you?! It's their wedding! Would you have done that with our wedding?! Would you have purposely done some... The One-Man Wedding Band! I cannot believe you! You just scammed me so you could do nothing!
Ray: Th- That was no scam! No! He sounded great in the subway. No, l- l- Hey, it turned out great. You got a kick-ass band. Damn, woman.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘The Plan’ Quotes
Quote from Ray
Robert: What do you want me to say? I need to do the wedding invitations. Amy wants me to do it, so I'm doing it. Come on, help me.
Ray: All right. Here's what you do: You- You write a version of the invitation, but you do a horrible job. Okay? She'll see it, do it herself, and never ask you to do anything else with this wedding. You're welcome.
Robert: But it's terrible, Raymond. I'm not gonna intentionally screw it up just to get out of the work.
Frank: Hey, dummy, listen to your stupid brother.
Ray: Look, look. When we got engaged, Debra put me in charge of the music. Okay. So I found a DJ. She wanted a band. So I found a band. She didn't like the band, so I found another band. Nope! The truth is, she wanted to do it, but she just got it in her head that I should be part of this whole wedding experience. So you know what I did? I sent over this guy who sang and played the accordion. He had a keyboard with violins and trumpets and drum noises. His name was "Zippers, the One-Man Wedding Band." Next thing you know, she tells me, "Never mind, she'll take care of the music." I sat down, turned on the TV and never looked back.
Frank: That's a beautiful story.
Quote from Amy
Robert: Hey, Amy.
Amy: What did you do?!
Robert: What do you mean?
Amy: What did you do? The invitations! My Aunt Lynn got this in the mail. What did you do?!
Robert: Oh, my God. This was in the mail?
Amy: What did you do, Robert?
Robert: Nothing, nothing. This wasn't supposed to go out.
Debra: Wait a minute. What's the problem? Oh, my God!
Amy: I know! I couldn't even finish reading it because someone was screaming, and then I realized it was me!
Quote from Ray
Ray: Let's help him with it, Dad. Come on. All right. All right. The first line of this thing should be...
Frank: "Attention, idiots!"
Ray: No. No. It can't be so bad that she figures out it's on purpose.
Frank: Oh, right. You're like a genius.
Ray: Yeah. All right. Well, what's the first line of an invitation supposed to be?
Robert: I guess it should be something like, "Mr. And Mrs. Henry and Patricia MacDougall request the honor of your presence"
Ray: Okay. Wait, wait. So instead of Henry and Patricia MacDougall, we make it "Hank and Pat."
Robert: Okay. That's good. "Hank and Pat." Hey, you know what? Maybe we don't need the "and." Maybe the "and" is too fancy. Just make it an "'n" with apostrophes. "Hank 'n Pat." Like "Shake 'n Bake." Pork 'n beans." Uh, can we do that?
Ray: We just did.