Ray Quote #7
Ray: Okay, I lied. I lied to everybody. I was trying to make everybody happy.
Robert: Nice job.
Ray: I should have known better. Why did- Especially with my parents, the only people who treat a box of fruit like it's plutonium. I chickened out. I made a mistake. I chickened out. All right, look. The truth is Debra wanted us to have a day to ourselves. And me, too. Me, too. But Debra's the one. She's got it- No, she's got it very hard around here, though she's never said that to me. I've noticed it. Like Dad. I know you try to be funny, but... Like with the twins. Maybe you shouldn't say: "I think little Matthew has homosexual tendencies." And, Ma, you can't be so critical. And if you're going to be critical, could you please call before you come so we could be ready for it? Both of you. Could you both call? We have to prepare. There's bills and receipts we hide, and then we chant a little. Now listen, we love you both, but this is our house and Debra's my wife. And if you can't accept what I'm telling you then you can't come over here anymore. Unless you call first. That's it. I think I did it all, right?
Debra: What? This has nothing to do with me.
Ray: Oh, yeah, Robert, could you try not to eat near the kids?
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from Marie
Marie: Your birthday gift to me finally came this morning. Did you know you sent me a box of pears?
Ray: Yeah. Yeah.
Marie: From a place called Fruit-of-the-Month?
Ray: That's right. How are they?
Marie: Oh, they're very nice pears. But there are so many of them. There are over a dozen pears. What am I supposed to do with all those pears?
Ray: I think you're supposed to eat them, Ma.
Marie: Myself?
Ray: You and Dad and Robert.
Marie: How many pears can Robert eat? Look, I appreciate the thought, Raymond, but please, don't ever send us any more fruit again. Thanks.
Quote from Marie
Ray: It's a different fruit every month.
Marie: Every month?
Ray: Yes. Yes. That's why they call it Fruit-of-the-Month Club.
Marie: It's a club? Oh, my God! What do I do with all this fruit?
Ray: Well, most people like it, Ma! You share it. Share it with all your friends.
Marie: Which friends?
Ray: I don't know. Lee and Stan.
Marie: Lee and Stan buy their own fruit.
Ray: Well, give it to-
Marie: Oh, why did you do this to me?
Ray: My God!
Marie: I can't talk. There's too much fruit in the house!
Quote from Robert
Robert: When did he get this?
Marie: Oh, that's an award your brother got for his sports column.
Robert: Never ends for Raymond.
Marie: Oh, poor Robbie.
Robert: Everybody loves Raymond. I go to work, people shoot at me. Ray goes to work, people do the wave. Then he sits down, has a hot dog, doodles on a piece of paper and they give him a trophy.