Debra Quote #589
Debra: I can't sleep! I'm seething! She actually has me seething!
Ray: You know what? You shouldn't let her ruin your evening. And probably the best way to get even with her is to just just do what you had planned, you know? I mean, for instance, if you were gonna watch TV, then just watch TV. Or if you were gonna do something, I don't know, interactive.
Debra: What? Are you trying' to have sex now?
Ray: No, no, no. I'm just brainstorming.
Debra: Yeah. Forget it. Your mother's ruined the whole night, just like she's ruined every other night! [tries to read a book] Oh, what the hell! [kisses Ray]
Quote from Marie
Marie: Listen, I need to talk to Debra.
Ray: Oh, yeah. Well, now's a bad time, so maybe tomorrow.
Marie: No no, Raymond, listen. I saw that talk show today with the four ladies...
Marie: And they had this relationship doctor on who said, "Every time you leave a family member, you must treat that person as if you'll never see them again."
Ray: I love you, Mom. Good bye.
Marie: No, no, no, no. That got me thinking about Debra, and then there was this commercial about household bacteria, and that really got me thinking about her. And then I said to myself, "This can't be just coincidental." No, I have to apologize right now, Raymond.
Quote from Frank
Frank: Oh, I know what he was doing. The action is always better when there's a little fire in the furnace, right, Ray?
Ray: No! No. That is so wrong. Crazy old man!
Frank: Come on! Why do you think I give this one such a hard time? When she's steamed up, everything's better. I'll tell you, the angry sex is good. But what I really love is the angry steak pizzaiola.
Marie: You're a pig!
Frank: Good! Use that for the lasagna tonight.
Robert: Look, Debra, this I told him, Ma. You must always be sensitive to your wife's emotions.
Frank: You, my boy are a girl.
Quote from Frank
Debra: So Marie, you came over to apologize last night?
Marie: I did, and I learned from the four ladies that nothing is worth fighting over this way. And you're right. If I have something to say, I should just come out with it or keep my mouth shut.
Frank: Your mouth? That's like trying to hold back a- [chokes] I'm sorry, I was eating. Set me up again.
Quote from The Angry Family
Debra: First of all, it's not a book. It's pieces of construction paper.
Ray: You sound a bit close-minded.
Debra: Hey. Eileen, you have no idea what I have to put up with. When I got married, I didn't just get a husband, I got a whole freak show that set up their tent right across the street. And that- That would be fine, if they stayed there. But every day... Every day, they dump a truckload of their insane family dreck into my lap. How would you like to sit through two people in their 60s fighting over who invented the lawn? The lawn! And then the brother, "I live in an apartment. I don't even have a lawn. Raymond has a lawn." But you can't blame him when you see who the mother is. She has this kind of sick hold on the both of them. And the father's about as disgusting a creature as God has ever dropped onto this planet. So no wonder the kid writes stories! I should be writing stories. My life is a Gothic novel! And until you have lived in that house, with all of them in there with you day after day, week after week, year after friggin' year, you are in no position to judge me!
Quote from Thank You Notes
Amy: I didn't mean to argue. It's thank-you notes. It's so stupid.
Debra: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Look at me. You were great. Do you hear me? You can't let her get away with anything.
Amy: But she's so upset. I don't want a bad relationship with her. I should go apologize.
Debra: No, no, no, no, no. Hey, listen, that is exactly what she is waiting for, for you to go over there and say you'll write those thank-you notes. You have got to be strong. She is testing you. Trust me, what she just pulled here, that's her big weapon: the guilt bomb. And it doesn't help that all the men in her family are scared to death of her. Whenever she comes up against somebody with a backbone who might actually confront her, she's completely threatened and she gets her claws out. And so she has been allowed to rule this way, unopposed, for decades. Listen, Amy I have been waiting for you. This is a critical time. Even though this is a tough regime to topple, with you in the family, now we have a shot... you and me together, to end all the suffering. Do you hear me? We can do it!
Quote from Fighting In-Laws
Debra: You know what, Ray? It's a private matter. And my parents, unlike yours, don't feel the need to inflict their lives on everybody else.
Ray: Or, maybe they're a little embarrassed, because as it turns out, they're not so perfect.
Debra: Yeah, or maybe they're just trying to work out their problems before their marriage degenerates into a screaming match like your parents. Arguing about how deep a pan is before it's a pot. "If it's three inches, it's a pot! Everybody knows that, Marie!" "If you can't boil an egg in it, it's not a pot, you jackass!"
Ray: Hey, either way, your perfect little Connecticut "Oh, make sure you cut the crust off my cucumber sandwich"-parents are frauds!
Debra: You listen. If my parents lit an orphanage on fire on Christmas Eve, they wouldn't be as bad as your parents!