Everybody Loves Raymond - Frank Quote #718

Quote from Frank in Home From School

Marie: How come Michael doesn't want to go to school?
Ray: Nobody wants to go to school. He didn't do his homework.
Frank: Listen to me. You wanna know how to motivate a kid? You get him something he really loves, then take it away.
Debra: All right, Frank.
Frank: He likes trains, right? So you get him a nice, new, steam locomotive. Something that makes his face really light up. Then you get a hammer!
Debra: We're not gonna smash his trains.
Frank: Does he have a turtle?

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‘Home From School’ Quotes

Quote from Ray

Michael: The kids teased me.
Ray: What?
Michael: In my class, all the kids laughed at me.
Ray: The kids laughed at you?
Michael: Why? I went up to the teacher to ask her a question, and I accidentally said "Mommy."
Ray: You called the teacher "Mommy"? [Michael nods] Why? Was the teacher yelling? [Michael shakes his head]
Michael: Then I cried, and everybody called me "crybaby."
Ray: [sighs] I made you eat the fiber.

Quote from Frank

Debra: I don't know. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Frank: Hey, Deb, I could show you a couple of techniques I used to get these two mutts out of bed.
Ray: We're not gonna put ice cubes down his pants, Dad.
Frank: I'm not saying you start with that. I'm saying you start with what I used to call The Dirty-Sock Alarm Clock.
Marie: Oh, Frank, that was disgusting.
Frank: You reach way down to the bottom of the hamper...
Debra: We're not doing that, Frank.
Frank: It's called Tough, Smelly Love.
Robert: Sometimes he'd use my own sock against me.

Quote from Frank

Marie: I'll tell you what the problem is, Debra.
Debra: I was hoping you would, Marie.
Marie: You let the kids play those computer, video-tronic games, and after that, school is just boring to them. It's just an old lady talking.
Frank: Where do you get those video-tronic games?
Marie: Why do I say anything?
Frank: Exactly.

Frank Quotes

Quote from Mother's Day

Frank: Let me ask you something, pal. What have you had, a tough week? Well, I've been living with your mother since... before you were born!
Ray: Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a "knock, knock" joke!
Frank: She's right! "Knock, knock" jokes stink!
Ray: That's not the point! Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are telling a "knock, knock" joke, and Debra couldn't even give her that little of joy!
Frank: Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
Ray: She didn't have to be so rude!
Frank: Rude is the only thing that gets through to her! How do you think I got the way I am? I used to be a gentleman!

Quote from The Nice Talk

Frank: Can I watch TV now?
Marie: No, Frank.
Frank: Then what the hell are we gonna do all night?
Hank: Less cursing, I hope.
Frank: Who cursed?
Hank: You referred to the antipode of heaven.
Frank: What the hell kind of moon-man talk is that?

Quote from Talk to Your Daughter

Debra: Will you please stop? It turns out Ally doesn't want to know how we get here, she wants to know why we're here, why God put us on Earth. And she's waiting for Ray to answer her.
Frank: What's wrong with you? It's simple.
Ray: Oh, okay. Yeah. We're gonna learn the meaning of life from a guy who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called protecting your sandwich. Listen to me. Here's what life is: you're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die. That's it. That's all. Cannoli, Marie!