Ray: Guys, it's okay. You can wake up now. Sit up, guys. I want to talk to you. Michael, come over here. Come on. Listen, guys I said something before that was pretty harsh. But, uh, I said it, and I'm sticking by it. Okay, you understand that? I'm not backing down. So if you think Daddy's a party clown, "Look at the bubbles coming out of his heinie" you can just forget about it. But I might have a deal for you guys. You want your TV back, and holidays, and staying up until it's dark out? [they nod] Okay, well, I can make all that happen if you just promise me one thing. Okay? Just promise me you'll obey everything Mommy and Daddy tell you from now until you're 60... 65... 65! Okay? That seems fair. Deal?
Geoffrey: Deal.
Michael: Deal.
Ray: All right, come here. Now, listen, guys, I don't want you to think that I'm an idiot and I really believe that we've got a deal here. Your mother and I have been talking, and we know that you're gonna get older and you're gonna do things, and we know there's nothing we can do about it. But, guys, if you do, make sure we never find out about it. We don't want to know.

Debra: Thank you, Marie, but the boys can do it themselves.
Marie: Boys should play. I hardly ever used to make Raymond tidy up.
Debra: I know, Marie, and thank you for that.
Robert: For Raymond, it was, "Don't worry, go play." What I got was, "Robbie, dust the ceiling!"

Marie: Debra, when it comes to discipline, it's only natural for one of the parents to be the bad guy.
Frank: I was the best bad guy ever to walk the streets of Lynbrook. These two knew not to mess with me. When they were up to their usual monkeyshines, all I had to do was give 'em "the step."
Debra: What's that?
[Frank stands up, shakes himself off and then turns towards Ray and Robert to take a step forward]
Robert: Take it easy.
Ray: Just relax.
Frank: End of monkeyshines!
Debra: Wow.
Marie: He was good.