Debra: That's why I want to go to counseling. I don't think it's that you're just lazy. I think there's a deeper reason behind this, and if we could just figure it out, you and I could be happier.
Ray: Come on, you know me. There's not much deepness. I just... I like to be taken care of.
Debra: You gotta understand, Ray, that that's not a wife. That's a mother.
Ray: Well, maybe that's what I want!
Frank: Holy crap!

Marie: Come on, stop it, you two.
Frank: I gotta say, the counseling doesn't seem to be working.
Marie: Now, I want you to sit down and let's try to talk this out.
Debra: Marie, I am not sitting down.
Marie: Please, Debra. I may not be a certified therapist, but I've been told by many people that I could be.
Frank: That's not what they mean when they say you're certifiable.

Ray: What do you want?
Robert: Aw, nothing. I was just feeling a little guilty over my laughing at your predicament yesterday.
Ray: Well, you know, whatever. Debra and I talked it out. We're fine now.
Robert: That's good, 'cause I was thinking about it, and the truth is it's good that you guys acknowledged that you had a problem and you took the right steps to deal with it. Maybe I should have done that when I was married, huh?
Ray: Hmm. All right, well, thanks. Thanks, man.
Robert: Look, I know you're feeling bad, so I got you something.
[Robert brings in a cardboard cut-out of Marie dressed as a bride]
Robert: Enjoy, you sick bastard.