Debra Quote #433
Debra: Hi, Marie.
Marie: I just brought Hilda and Artie over 'cause I wanted them to see the kids do their "knock, knock" joke.
Artie: We hear it's a hoot!
Debra: Now's not the best time, I'm trying' to get 'em upstairs.
Marie: Michael, "Knock, knock". Honey, let Michael say "Knock, knock."
Michael: Knock, knock! Knock, knock!
Debra: No "knock, knock" jokes right now, we're going' upstairs.
Marie: "Orange." Debra, say "orange."
Debra: Marie, please stop! We are not telling "knock, knock" jokes right now! We are going upstairs for our baths. All right? Thank you. Let's go. Come on. [goes upstairs with the kids]
Marie: ... Well.
Quote from Frank
Frank: Let me ask you something, pal. What have you had, a tough week? Well, I've been living with your mother since... before you were born!
Ray: Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a "knock, knock" joke!
Frank: She's right! "Knock, knock" jokes stink!
Ray: That's not the point! Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are telling a "knock, knock" joke, and Debra couldn't even give her that little of joy!
Frank: Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
Ray: She didn't have to be so rude!
Frank: Rude is the only thing that gets through to her! How do you think I got the way I am? I used to be a gentleman!
Quote from Ray
Ray: Debra, please, come on, all right? Just do it for me. [Debra glares at Ray] Great. Great, great. You see? You see? Here's the problem, okay? You think it's just her. Well, I'm gonna say it. We all know that if my wife wasn't so snippy all the time - Yes, I said snippy - none of this would have happened! [Marie nods]
Frank: You'd be snippy too if this one was yammering at you all day long! You got nothing to complain about.
Ray: Hey, how do you know what I've been going' through over here? I actually have to live with her, so don't start with me, 'cause you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
[Frank stands up]
Quote from The Angry Family
Debra: First of all, it's not a book. It's pieces of construction paper.
Ray: You sound a bit close-minded.
Debra: Hey. Eileen, you have no idea what I have to put up with. When I got married, I didn't just get a husband, I got a whole freak show that set up their tent right across the street. And that- That would be fine, if they stayed there. But every day... Every day, they dump a truckload of their insane family dreck into my lap. How would you like to sit through two people in their 60s fighting over who invented the lawn? The lawn! And then the brother, "I live in an apartment. I don't even have a lawn. Raymond has a lawn." But you can't blame him when you see who the mother is. She has this kind of sick hold on the both of them. And the father's about as disgusting a creature as God has ever dropped onto this planet. So no wonder the kid writes stories! I should be writing stories. My life is a Gothic novel! And until you have lived in that house, with all of them in there with you day after day, week after week, year after friggin' year, you are in no position to judge me!
Quote from Fighting In-Laws
Debra: You know what, Ray? It's a private matter. And my parents, unlike yours, don't feel the need to inflict their lives on everybody else.
Ray: Or, maybe they're a little embarrassed, because as it turns out, they're not so perfect.
Debra: Yeah, or maybe they're just trying to work out their problems before their marriage degenerates into a screaming match like your parents. Arguing about how deep a pan is before it's a pot. "If it's three inches, it's a pot! Everybody knows that, Marie!" "If you can't boil an egg in it, it's not a pot, you jackass!"
Ray: Hey, either way, your perfect little Connecticut "Oh, make sure you cut the crust off my cucumber sandwich"-parents are frauds!
Debra: You listen. If my parents lit an orphanage on fire on Christmas Eve, they wouldn't be as bad as your parents!