Frank Quote #912
Frank: Let me ask you something, pal. What have you had, a tough week? Well, I've been living with your mother since... before you were born!
Ray: Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a "knock, knock" joke!
Frank: She's right! "Knock, knock" jokes stink!
Ray: That's not the point! Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are telling a "knock, knock" joke, and Debra couldn't even give her that little of joy!
Frank: Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
Ray: She didn't have to be so rude!
Frank: Rude is the only thing that gets through to her! How do you think I got the way I am? I used to be a gentleman!
More Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
Quote from Talk to Your Daughter
Debra: Will you please stop? It turns out Ally doesn't want to know how we get here, she wants to know why we're here, why God put us on Earth. And she's waiting for Ray to answer her.
Frank: What's wrong with you? It's simple.
Ray: Oh, okay. Yeah. We're gonna learn the meaning of life from a guy who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called protecting your sandwich. Listen to me. Here's what life is: you're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die. That's it. That's all. Cannoli, Marie!
Quote from Frank Goes Downstairs
Marie: So that's how you both fell? A race around the house, which you often do as a tradition?
Ray: Uh, yeah.
Frank: Stupid, humped-up termite trap!
[Frank falls through the stairs]
Marie: Oh, my God! Frank, are you all right?
Frank: [o.s.] Holy crap!
Marie: Don't move, I'm coming right down!
Frank: [o.s.] I'm in enough pain!
Quote from Wallpaper
Frank: I'll have the brakes checked when I get the taillight fixed.
Debra: The taillight?! Frank! Look at the house.
Frank: I saw it. Look at this. This drywall, it's like paper. Probably foreign-made. On the other hand, say what you want about American cars... Beats a house.
Quote from Ray
Ray: Debra, please, come on, all right? Just do it for me. [Debra glares at Ray] Great. Great, great. You see? You see? Here's the problem, okay? You think it's just her. Well, I'm gonna say it. We all know that if my wife wasn't so snippy all the time - Yes, I said snippy - none of this would have happened! [Marie nods]
Frank: You'd be snippy too if this one was yammering at you all day long! You got nothing to complain about.
Ray: Hey, how do you know what I've been going' through over here? I actually have to live with her, so don't start with me, 'cause you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
[Frank stands up]
Quote from Marie
Ray: What you are doing, Ma?
Marie: Hello. I was just flipping through your baby books, recalling the agony of your delivery. And I was wondering if I was going to get a visit from you on Mother's Day.
Ray: Yeah, Mom, l- I'm taking care of a few things here, that's all.
Marie: Well, of course. By all means, take your time. You obviously have other priorities on Mother's Day.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Debra, may I talk to you?
Debra: Sure, Marie.
Marie: What happened the other day has really weighed on me and I did some serious thinking. So, Debra I was wrong. Please forgive me.
Debra: Oh, wow. Marie, thank you. But you don't have to apologize, I'm fine, really.
Marie: No, no, no, Debra, I want to. First of all, I'm sorry I came over when I did. I should know by now, by late afternoon you've lost complete control of the kids. And then, I brought company, which must have embarrassed you, since obviously you hadn't tidied up. So I understand why you felt the need to snap at me so. For all that, I'm sorry. All right? [Debra is silent]
Ray: So... She's talking to you again!
Debra: Well, she can do whatever she wants, because I'm done talking to her. [goes upstairs]
Marie: This is what I get for trying to be nice.