Robert Quote #494
Robert: Ten, eleven... Wait a minute. There's a teaspoon missing! There's supposed to be twelve teaspoons, there's only eleven! Ma!
Frank: What the hell! What are you yappin' about?!
Robert: There's supposed to be twelve teaspoons. This is an incomplete set!
Frank: What party are you gonna give with twelve guests?
Robert: A big party, 'cause it'll be the reading of your will! Maybe it got scraped into the trash can. Maybe it's in the trash.
[Ray appears in the window with a spoon balanced on his nose. He knocks on the window. Robert turns around, his hands caked in dirt from the trash.]
Robert: That is not funny!
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘The Skit’ Quotes
Quote from Ray
Debra: "Oh my God, look what they leave lying around! The 'Sports Illustrated' Swimsuit Issue!"
Ray: "Holy crap! Gimme that!"
Debra: "Frank, you know that's not what real women look like."
Ray: "No kidding."
Debra: "And just what magazine are you in, Frank? 'Bald and Gassy?'"
Ray: "Hey, my problem is, I got a lifetime subscription to you!"
Debra: "And I can cancel it at any time!"
Quote from Ray
Ray: And finally this is how Lee and Stan might visit someone's home. "Ding-dong! Hello! Thank you for inviting us."
Debra: "Oh, Stan, isn't this a lovely house?"
Ray: "It certainly is, and you are lovely too, Lee."
Debra: "Oh, thank you, Stan. I love you."
Ray: "And I love you, Lee." Now, let's take a look at how Frank and Marie might visit someone's home, shall we?
Debra: "Do you think Raymond is home?"
Ray: "Let's find out."
Both: "Ba-boom!" [mime kicking the door down]
Quote from Debra
Debra: Hey, you know what? That's what you should do, stuff about your parents.
Ray: What? It's Lee and Stan's thing.
Debra: I know, but you could do like a marriage comparison. You know, where Lee and Stan are a classic, successful marriage, and your parents are less classical.
Ray: That's true. I would love to be able to bring up the time they drove a car through the living room wall.
Debra: Yeah, as opposed to Lee and Stan, who prefer to ring the doorbell. [both laugh]
Ray: That's good.
Debra: Yeah. Yeah.
Ray: Or or how 'bout the time my father accidentally gave out condoms for Halloween?
Debra: How 'bout the time that they fought for a week because they were literally comparing apples and oranges!
Ray: Right, right. I remember that. I had to vote.