Robert Quote #470

Quote from Robert in Tissues

Robert: Raymond, if I may. Did you ever stop to wonder why these tissues were on sale? The bad color, the disgusting texture, the fact that they're only 100-count when a typical box of tissues holds 160? Hmm? You got ripped off, my brother. Nobody wanted these things. Nobody but poor ol' Mr. Bumblepuss. That's you.

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 ‘Tissues’ Quotes

Quote from Ray

Debra: Last week, I sent you for a simple garden hose. You came home with that tiny thing. It's totally useless.
Ray: What? That's a good hose.
Debra: It's two feet long. The water doesn't even reach the plants!
Ray: So you squirt it over there. Use your thumb, that's what people do.
Debra: Just so you know, that hose is goin' back.
Ray: Oh, that's it right there.
Debra: What?
Ray: That is how you get your way. "Just so you know." Yeah, yeah. "Just so you know, Ray, we're getting the flower drapes." "Just so you know, Ray, I ordered the boring couch without the footrests." "And, Ray, we're going to move in across the street from your parents, just so you know." Yeah, that's right. I remember saying, "No, no. In the name of all that is holy, no!" But look where we are. Nice work! Sorry I'm coming on a little strong, but the truth has set me free.

Quote from Debra

Debra: You gave up the right to make decisions when you stopped taking responsibility. You don't help me at all. You can't even wash a dish.
Ray: Maybe I'd wash a dish if I didn't have to look at those repulsive curtains.
Debra: Fine, fine. You be that way. But until you start helpin' out, I'm makin' all the decisions.
Ray: But-
Debra: Good night.
Ray: But you you can't do that. We're married. It's a two-way street.
Debra: No, it's not.
Ray: What do you mean, "No, it's not"? Marriage is a two-way street. You can't just make it a one-way street. Think of all the accidents you're causin'. "Not making any decisions..." I'll make all the decisions I want. Maybe I'm deciding to sleep down here tonight.
Debra: I already made that decision. Just so you know.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Wait! How 'bout we go to Marco's, huh? Just the two of us. Ma, can you take the kids to your house for dinner?
Marie: Sure. They could use a home-cooked meal.
Debra: It's okay, Marie.
Ray: No no, come on. It'll be fun, huh? Just you and me. Like when we were dating, except now I know not to expect sex after.
Marie: I don't like that, Raymond.