Ray Quote #1079
Quote from Ray in What Good Are You?
Ray: Hey, come on. You know you can always count on me.
Debra: Oh, I can? When?
Ray: When it counts. When the chips are down everybody knows that. I'm the "chips-are-down" guy.
Debra: Mmmm. Oh, really? Ahem well, where was the "chips-are-down" guy when the squirrel got in the house other day? I believe he was in the closet screaming, "Get it out! Get it out! It's after me!"
Ray: It was after me! I'd been eating nuts!
Debra: I mean, face it. You're useless in an emergency.
Ray: This wasn't an emergency! You coughed, you went, "pwah!" Right? That's not choking.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘What Good Are You?’ Quotes
Quote from Marie
Ray: All right, let's say Robert's not here. He's giving CPR to a kitten, okay? Then then you want me.
Marie: Is your father available?
Ray: What?
Marie: Say what you will about him, but when it comes to something like this, he can be very impressive. I mean, he's a fighter. He's got that inner rage. Actually, he's just looking for an excuse to use it.
Ray: And you like that? You're the one always complaining that he isn't sensitive enough.
Marie: But you just don't want sensitive. Sensitive doesn't scare off a burglar, or a peeping Tom.
Ray: That's a big problem around here, is it?
Quote from Marie
Marie: Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. You're a sweet boy and that's what you do.
Ray: I'm not sweet!
Marie: All right, don't get upset. What I meant to say is that you're sweet, but you're also manly. You're a strapping, virile man.
Frank: Said his mommy.
Marie: I'm not only his mommy, Frank. I'm also a woman.
Ray: Oh God.
Quote from Ray
Ray: And then the beautiful princess said, "Oh, brave and handsome knight, thank you for taking that painful wooden spike out of my hand. I will marry you! I'm lucky to marry you!" And the townspeople rejoiced. Except for the giant, evil cowardly brother. Who was banished from the kingdom forever. And had to live 1.38 miles away.
Kids: Yay, yay, yay, yay.
Debra: My hero.