Frank: Hey, those are my Bugles.
Ray: Good thing your mother's here.
Robert: Yeah, right.
Frank: A whole box of Bugles.
Marie: Look at this carpet. And the lamp! This is why we can't have nice things! Everybody makes a mess, and I have to fix it up! All the time. Great, all the time.
Robert: Oh, oh, oh! My back! My back! My back!
Ray: Oh, my neck thing.
Frank: You two idiots. I hope you're happy! I have to eat Funyuns now! Marie, Funyuns!

Ray: You've been rubbing it in my face this whole time!
Robert: Yeah, like you haven't been doing that to me for the past 40 years.
Ray: Oh, how long are you going to sing that song, huh?! You've been acting like a jerk! Why don't you just admit it?!
Robert: Oh, yeah? I'm a jerk? Who was the one who instead of saying, "Hey, I'm happy for you, brother," threw a hissy fit and stormed out of the room?
Ray: Hey, for your information, if you remember, I said, "Great!" Okay? All right? And if I was upset, I had a reason to, okay? 'Cause you waited until my lifetime dream got crushed before you made your big announcement!
Robert: Oh yeah? How'd it feel? 'Cause you know what? I hope it felt really bad.
Ray: Oh, you do, huh? You do?
Robert: Yeah, I do! I hope it felt the same way you make me feel every time you prance over to Mom and Dad's to tell them about one of your great accomplishments!
Ray: Hey, if I do that, it's because up until now, nobody else had accomplishments!
Robert: Well, now someone does! And that's got to be killing you, huh, Ray?
Ray: Shut up!
Robert: You know, 'cause I was thinking, Ray, that a lot of books get published that suck. So for your book not to get published... Woo, that's got to be off-the-charts suck.

Ray: Where have you been for the last hour?
Debra: I told you I was going to the store.
Ray: What, they make you lock up?
Debra: Excuse me?
Ray: How can I write when this whole place is crawling with doodie-heads?
Debra: Oh, were they noisy? Gosh, when I'm alone with them, they just sit in the corner and read the Bible.
Ray: Listen, come here. Sit down for one second, please. Just sit down. I want to tell you something. I need help, okay? I'm under the gun here to finish a chapter, so I was wondering if you could kind of pick up the slack here till I'm done.
Debra: My whole life is picking up the slack.