Ray: Hey, Mom and Dad, I think I know what I'm gonna get you for Christmas.
Frank: Better not be a pet. I hate people who give pets.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, we know, Dad.
Frank: Giving a pet means "You're old, I find you boring. Talk to a bird."

Lois: Raymond, I just noticed that this background is blue. Do I have time to change into my gray pashmina?
Ray: [shouts] Get back in your place! We're taking this damn picture! Would you see what I'm dealing with here? Are you blind?
Warren: Uh, Raymond-
Ray: Baaah! No habla talkie talkie, okay? I've had it with trying to make everybody happy! I was trying to do something nice! I'm sick of everybody coming up to me, "Oh, talk to Debra." "Talk to your mother." "Why can't my girlfriend be in the picture?" "Oh, I don't want to spend Christmas with them." "Fix it, Raymond, talk." I'm done talking! Don't talk to me anymore, you hear me? If you wanna talk, talk to yourselves 'cause I'm out!
Lois: Maybe I'll just wear the blue.

Robert: What are you and Ray gonna get Mom and Dad for Christmas?
Debra: I don't know. Every year it's so horrible. Poor Ray, always wrong. He's over there right now fishing for hints.
Robert: [chuckles] Yeah, hints! Heh, he'll never learn. Mom doesn't give it up so easy. She always gives the same prepared statement every year: "Oh, I don't need anything, dears. I just want two nice boys."
Debra: You two ever try that?
Robert: Nice? It's too much trouble. We used to just go in on some Jean Nate After Bath Splash.