Ray Quote #787
Debra: He's meeting with us about our wills.
Ray: Wills? No, no, no. I do not want a will. It's bad luck.
Debra: Look, you've been putting this off for years. And I would think you'd want to be prepared, especially after your near-death experience.
Ray: Near-death, I was going for pity sex.
Debra: You know, I don't understand you. You were fine when we did the life insurance.
Ray: Insurance is too dull to be scary. By the way, how much do you get if I die?
Debra: $800,000.
Ray: That was a little fast. Right? Yeah. Your social security number, you got to look that up, but that number, oh yeah. Right there, right on the tip of your tongue.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘The Will’ Quotes
Quote from Ray
Ray: We should put something in there that if I die you can't marry another man named Ray.
David Atkins: Excuse me?
Ray: Well, 'cause eventually everyone would call him Ray and me "Dead Ray."
David Atkins: I don't think I can-
Debra: Just ignore him.
Quote from Robert
Robert: I wasn't even asked.
Ray: Well, Robert, we just, you know...
Robert: Who'd you pick?
Debra: Linda and Bernie Gruenfelder.
Robert: Bernie Gruenfelder. Well, let's see: A chubby jet-ski salesman versus a blood-related protector of the people? Yeah, well, that's a no-brainer.
Quote from Debra
Debra: All right, I'm sorry. So the salt didn't stay on your pretzel.
Ray: Yes! All right, so I'm... I'm bending down to wipe the salt off my shirt, and bam, a foul ball comes flying into the booth. It came this close to hitting me!
Debra: Yeah?
Ray: Yeah! I felt its wind! And then I turn and Andy, who just got a turkey and cheese sandwich, and the ball knocks it off his tray. The soda, pickles, chips, chocolate cake, everything!
Debra: You get chocolate cake in the press box?
Ray: It was Friday. We get a different cake every Friday. But you're missing the point.
Debra: No, I'm getting the point. A ball bounced into your world and disturbed paradise!