Ray Quote #785

Quote from Ray in The Will

Ray: You know, I almost died today.
Debra: Really?
Ray: That's what you say when I tell you I almost died?
Debra: What am I supposed to say?
Ray: "Oh my God, Ray! Are you all right?!"
Debra: What happened?
Ray: I'm in the press box, I'm watching the game...
Debra: Yeah.
Ray: And I'm eating a soft pretzel. But these pretzels they have, they're not moist. They're bigger than the other ones, but they're very dry. Anyway, the salt doesn't stick to them, it falls everywhere.
Debra: Oh my God, are you okay?
Ray: You gonna mock? You just gonna mock?

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 ‘The Will’ Quotes

Quote from Ray

Ray: We should put something in there that if I die you can't marry another man named Ray.
David Atkins: Excuse me?
Ray: Well, 'cause eventually everyone would call him Ray and me "Dead Ray."
David Atkins: I don't think I can-
Debra: Just ignore him.

Quote from Robert

Robert: I wasn't even asked.
Ray: Well, Robert, we just, you know...
Robert: Who'd you pick?
Debra: Linda and Bernie Gruenfelder.
Robert: Bernie Gruenfelder. Well, let's see: A chubby jet-ski salesman versus a blood-related protector of the people? Yeah, well, that's a no-brainer.

Quote from Debra

Debra: All right, I'm sorry. So the salt didn't stay on your pretzel.
Ray: Yes! All right, so I'm... I'm bending down to wipe the salt off my shirt, and bam, a foul ball comes flying into the booth. It came this close to hitting me!
Debra: Yeah?
Ray: Yeah! I felt its wind! And then I turn and Andy, who just got a turkey and cheese sandwich, and the ball knocks it off his tray. The soda, pickles, chips, chocolate cake, everything!
Debra: You get chocolate cake in the press box?
Ray: It was Friday. We get a different cake every Friday. But you're missing the point.
Debra: No, I'm getting the point. A ball bounced into your world and disturbed paradise!