Ray Quote #780
Ray: I'm still I'm still a sex machine. Come on. It was just today. You know, today, it was a long day and the kids.
I had a heavy meal. You know what? I don't need excuses. Come on. Let's go right now, me and you. Let's go mano-a-womano.
Debra: No, I don't want to do it just 'cause you want to prove something.
Ray: I don't want to prove something. I just love to sex you up.
Debra: All right, stop it, Ray.
Debra: You never want to talk about anything.
Ray: I'm ready now. [sighs] The monkey never learns.
Quote from Marie
Debra: Why did you tell me it was only once a year?
Marie: Because this whole topic is improper. What we do in our bedroom is our own business. And I prefer not to be known as the whore of Lynbrook.
Frank: We can move from Lynbrook.
Debra: You know, I don't understand, Marie. What are you so ashamed of?
Frank: She's ashamed to admit she likes it.
Marie: Oh, Frank. How do you know I like it?
Frank: Well, who wouldn't like it? Why don't you just admit it, Marie.
Marie: Yes, it's true. I enjoy my sex life. All right? Okay? I mean, forgive me, but in my day a woman didn't discuss these things. I mean, sex was a wifely duty. And the truth of the matter is that your father happens to be very competent. And it's obvious that I'm a woman. And I have needs like any other woman. Maybe I shouldn't be ashamed of sex because it's a very natural part of life. And if I'm lucky enough to still enjoy the pleasures of it, then I'm going to.
Quote from Frank
Frank: Look, it's all right. It's all right. Listen, sonny, if you're having trouble making the wee-wacky-woo-hoo, you did not get that from me.
Ray: You want to be honest? Let's be honest. Mom told Debra how much things have slowed down between you two.
Frank: Well, I might not be where I was at your age, but I think a couple of times a week is pretty good.
Robert: A couple times a week?
Ray: Holy crap.
Frank: That's right. And now if you'll excuse me, all this talk has kind of put me in the mood.
Quote from Marie
Frank: Look, I don't care. If it's out in the open, it's out in the open. Twice a week.
Marie: Oh, Frank! What are you saying? Don't lie like that.
Debra: Okay, see?
Frank: Hey, who's lying? What's wrong with you?
Marie: Why are we having this conversation?
Frank: Come on, Marie. I got a reputation here. Word of mouth is everything in this business.
Marie: I happen to be a lady, Frank. [Frank pokes Marie] Ooh!
Debra: What do you mean, Marie? Is it true?
Marie: Yes, it's true!
Quote from Counseling
Debra: That's why I want to go to counseling. I don't think it's that you're just lazy. I think there's a deeper reason behind this, and if we could just figure it out, you and I could be happier.
Ray: Come on, you know me. There's not much deepness. I just... I like to be taken care of.
Debra: You gotta understand, Ray, that that's not a wife. That's a mother.
Ray: Well, maybe that's what I want!
Frank: Holy crap!
Quote from The Ingrate
Debra: You have to admit, you're not the most professorial kind of guy.
Ray: I can be exceedingly professorial.
Debra: No, I know. I was just remembering that time you read the word "stohma-cha-chuh."
Ray: What's your point?
Debra: You read "stohma-cha-chuh." And the word really is...
Debra: I am just teasing you.
Ray: Yeah, right.
Debra: No, come on. Kiss me again. For once, I don't have a "head-ah-cha-chuh."
Quote from The Plan
Robert: What do you want me to say? I need to do the wedding invitations. Amy wants me to do it, so I'm doing it. Come on, help me.
Ray: All right. Here's what you do: You- You write a version of the invitation, but you do a horrible job. Okay? She'll see it, do it herself, and never ask you to do anything else with this wedding. You're welcome.
Robert: But it's terrible, Raymond. I'm not gonna intentionally screw it up just to get out of the work.
Frank: Hey, dummy, listen to your stupid brother.
Ray: Look, look. When we got engaged, Debra put me in charge of the music. Okay. So I found a DJ. She wanted a band. So I found a band. She didn't like the band, so I found another band. Nope! The truth is, she wanted to do it, but she just got it in her head that I should be part of this whole wedding experience. So you know what I did? I sent over this guy who sang and played the accordion. He had a keyboard with violins and trumpets and drum noises. His name was "Zippers, the One-Man Wedding Band." Next thing you know, she tells me, "Never mind, she'll take care of the music." I sat down, turned on the TV and never looked back.
Frank: That's a beautiful story.