Bryan: I'm talking about the beautiful snack today.
Debra: We didn't bring a snack.
Bryan: Ray just gave it to me.
Ray: Will you shut up about the snack? All right. Just shut up about the stupid, freaking snack! Here! You want the snack. Here. Take it. Take all of it. Here. Are these healthy enough for you? Plantains! You couldn't just put bananas on the list, huh? I ate two of these before I found out you got to cook them!
Bryan: I'm sorry. I, uh...
Ray: What? You don't want to share T-ball with me? Well, guess what, I don't want to share T-ball with you, Bryan. Oh, by the way, your kid's costing us the game out there, okay? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I'm keeping score. Ooh, bad! I'm keeping score, and we're losing because your kid's out there eating grasshoppers. Okay? I don't think that's an approved snack!

Marie: You know what you should do, Raymond? You're a big sports columnist you should do a column on T-ball for Newsday.
Ray: Yeah, sure. Right after my article on running through the sprinkler.
Marie: Well, it's better than just sports. It's about families spending time together. You'd be writing about something you love.

Ray: I got another snack list. And I think if we just bring, like, carrots and celery next week then everybody'll be happy. Except the kids.