Debra: Ray, you've got nothing to feel guilty for. You didn't do anything. As a matter of fact, you were defending them.
Ray: That doesn't matter. Guilt is just a way of life for me. I was trained by masters: my mother, my father, the Pope.

Priest: We all have these kinds of feeling from time to time. You know, there was a man on our church council a few years ago. A decent enough fellow but a bit abrasive. Oblivious to anyone else's feelings. I wanted to get him out of my hair. I used to fantasize about him converting to Judaism. One day, I said, "Frank, I think..."
Ray: Wait, a minute his name was Frank?
Priest: That's unimportant. The point-
Ray: No. Frank Barone?
Priest: You know Frank Barone?
Ray: He's my father.
Priest: Your parents are Frank and Marie Barone?
Ray: Yes.
Priest: You're absolved.
Ray: What?
Priest: Our Lord forgives your thoughts.
Ray: Yeah? Really? You're sure?
Priest: Well, I could look it up but I'm almost positive.

Ray: I'm sorry, Father, I thought this was the confessional.
Priest: This is the confessional.
Ray: uh, where's the booth with the kneeler and the sliding window through which you can't see me?
Priest: You haven't been here in a while have you?
Ray: Uh, about twenty years. I've been good.