Ray: We don't even have to do this, 'cause like you said before, Ma loves me more!
Robert: Well, you know what? She can love you all she wants, because I love her more than you do.
Ray: What?
Robert: You heard me. I love Ma more.
Ray: Are you insane?
Robert: Deep down inside, Raymond, you know it's true.
Ray: Are you saying that I don't love my mother?
Robert: Not as much as me. You take her for granted. But me? I cherish every ounce of affection that woman gives me because I have to fight for it like a dirty dog in the street. But you? You don't even have to try. She makes it so easy for you. You're just a fat kid sittin' with his mouth open at the end of a chocolate assembly line. You disgust me. I'm gettin' Ma.

Ray: She can't stay in my house. There's not enough room!
Robert: Oh, come on, you've got plenty of room downstairs in your office there. Just put in a nice rug, and put up a big picture of you and her together. Oh, she'll be very happy.
Ray: Okay, so, since you're too stubborn to move into that house, like we all know is your destiny, you're gonna force your own mother to live in a basement, huh? A dark, disgusting basement with the rats and the cockroaches.
Robert: Raymond, Raymond, Raymond. Don't fight it. Who do you think she'd rather be with? We all know that you're the favorite. And that, my friend is your destiny.
Ray: You are out of your mind! She loves us both equally.
Robert: [laughs] Oh, yeah, right!
Ray: Okay!
Robert: All right. All right. I'll tell you what: Why don't we do this: we'll put her in the middle of the room, call her name and see who she comes to.

Robert: Here you go, Ma.
Marie: Oh, my goodness!
Ray: Yeah. Listen, Ma, we're sorry. We shouldn't have yelled at you.
Robert: Yeah, we felt bad all day.
Marie: Oh, you shouldn't have. You're the best sons any mother could hope for. [kisses Ray & Robert]
Frank: Why do I suddenly want jelly doughnuts?
Marie: Oh, these shelves are so beautiful. And flowers!
Robert: Glad you like 'em, Mom. Sorry they weren't ready in time for Lee and Stan.
Marie: Oh, that doesn't matter. Come on, you're gonna carry these shelves over to Lee's house right now.
Ray: Okay. All right, Ma. Pick it up. Oh, by the way, Deb, I beat Robert at golf, so when Dad dies, Mom's gonna live with us.