Marie Quote #394
Ray: I have a good sense of humor.
Marie: That is true. Tell one of your jokes, dear.
Ray: What? Which one?
Marie: Oh, tell the one about the guy who goes into a bar, and there's a dish of peanuts that says nice things to him. And he asks the bartender "What's with these peanuts?" And the bartender says "They're complimentary." [laughs] Tell that one, dear.
Ray: You you just told it, Ma.
Marie: No, no. You tell it so funny.
Ray: You just told the ending, Ma.
Marie: Well, tell the beginning. I love it when you-
Ray: Ma, I'm not telling the joke because you blew the punch line! You understand that?
Marie: All right, all right!
Debra: What a zest for life.
Ray: She said "They're complimentary"! That's the whole joke!
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Net Worth’ Quotes
Quote from Debra
Debra: Here.
Ray: What's this?
Debra: A little something I worked up last night.
Ray: "Laundry, $75 a week. General housecleaning, $200 a week."
Ray: What is this, a bill?
Debra: That's right.
Ray: "Full time child care, a thousand dollars a week."
Debra: Yeah, I gave you a break on that one. I billed the twins as one item.
Ray: So, you're charging me now, to be the wife?
Debra: Well, if it's all your money, then "the wife" should get paid.
Ray: Uh-huh. "Personal chef, $300." Yeah, I think we're using the word "chef" pretty loosely.
Quote from Robert
Robert: Your life made possible by a grant from the Marie Barone Foundation.
Quote from Debra
Debra: What?
Marie: Well, just looking through some of these housekeeping things you claim you do. I think maybe I'm entitled to some of this money.
Ray: Well, looks like someone's padding the bill.
Debra: Look, Ray, I can't help it if people break in here and clean.