Robert: I was hip to Ma. I had two diaries. The one for her was a decoy.
Ray: You kept two sets of books?
Robert: Yeah, the one I let her find had stuff in it that I knew she'd want to read, like, um... how good her eggplant parmigiana was, and how her punishments were fair and just and about how I wanted to marry someone just like her.
Ray: A fake diary. You kept a fake diary. That's sick.
Robert: Yep, and I kept it in the first place I'd knew she'd look, under my mattress.
Ray: That's where I kept mine.
Robert: Unfortunate.

Marie: I just want to ask you something. Do you ever have any doubts about how good a mother you are?
Debra: Yes, of course-
Marie: No, no, I mean severe doubts. And have you any idea what it's like to be married to a husband who never helps you at all?
Debra: Go ahead.
Marie: And when you go to him for support, he only enhances those doubts? That was my life. Imagine little Michael, who loves you, who lights up whenever you get near him. Imagine him at 14, and he doesn't talk to you anymore. And you don't want to push him, so you just give him more love. And then one night you make him his favorite dinner, and you try to give him a kiss good night, and he goes up the stairs with a grunt. And you come across his journal, and you open it, and it says, "I hate my Mom." I wouldn't wish that on you, Debra.
Debra: Ray.
Ray: What?
Debra: Apologize to your mother.
Ray: I- I already did.
Debra: Do it again!

Marie: That's what you said about everything. "How was school today?" "Eh..." "Did you finish lunch?" "Eh..." "What about the other boys? Did they like your outfit today?" "Eh..." You didn't leave me much choice.
Ray: So you're perfectly fine with this? You don't think you've done anything wrong?
Marie: I was just trying to be a good mother. I mean, if you can't see that, and I see that you can't... I mean, obviously you feel that I stepped over some "boundaries". Then I want to apologize, Raymond. No, really, I mean it. I'm sorry, Raymond.
Ray: All right, then. So, are there pancakes?
Marie: That's it? You don't have anything to say to me?
Ray: What? What do you mean?
Marie: I just apologized for doing something that apparently offended you, and you have nothing to say to me?
Ray: Thank you.
Marie: "Thank you"? I see. So you think that you're innocent in all of this?
Ray: Yeah.
Marie: Fine. It's just fine, Raymond. But let me tell you something, you may have written that diary, but I had to read it!