Robert Quote #355
Quote from Robert in Pet Cemetery
Robert: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Wait a minute. He may not be dead.
Frank: What, are you kidding? You could crack a walnut with that thing.
Robert: No, I'm serious. He may be cryogenically preserved in a state of suspended animation.
Ray: He's dead, all right? I have to buy another one now.
Robert: Okay, look, not necessarily, Ray. We may be able to resuscitate him.
Frank: Hey, let's toss him in the microwave.
Robert: All right, that's it. I'm taking over this operation. Ma, get me some towels. Dad, I need some ice. Raymond, a cooler. We're evacuating Pumpernickel to the vet. Let's go. Move, move, move, move, move.
Ray: Robert, the vet is not gonna revive a hamster, okay? These are disposable pets.
What about your daughter's feelings, huh, Ray? Are those disposable?
Ray: All right.
Robert: No, it's not all right! I happen to care about a little girl whose heart is gonna break if she finds out that her daddy didn't do everything he could to save the life of her precious hamster. Now damn it, Raymond, get me that cooler.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Pet Cemetery’ Quotes
Quote from Frank
Ally: Do some animals go to hell?
Marie: We don't use those words, Ally.
Frank: Bad animals go to hell, kid. Believe you me, I know. When I was your age, there was this mean old German shepherd named Elsa. I was walking to school one day and I must have crossed too close to her territory. In those days, the Germans were very sensitive about their territory. Well, that's all it took for Fraulein Elsa the Nazi she-wolf to jump out and take a hunk out of my all-American hide. I still have the scar. You want to see it? I'll show you.
Marie: No, Frank!
Ray: What are you doing? Sit down.
Frank: All right! The point is Fraulein Elsa's probably in hell right now dragging her Nazi butt across the devil's carpet.
Ray: Thank you for that heartwarming story.
Quote from Robert
Robert: [clears throat] Death... the final goodbye. The ultimate toodle-oo. Or maybe death is not the end. Maybe it's a beginning. Perhaps, it's the ultimate howdy-do.
Ray: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
Robert: What's the matter, Ray, too deep for you?
Ray: Oh, God.
Debra: Go ahead, Robert.
Robert: You know, I have come to the conclusion that when I die, I would like to die like Pumpernickel. Quietly, painlessly, chocolate fudge pop stuck to the corner of my mouth. For that, my friends, must be a happy death. Aloha, which means goodbye and hello.
Ray: All right.
Robert: Same with shalom.
Ray: Shut up. One meaning.
Quote from Frank
Frank: For your information, there's a whole separate heaven for animals.
Marie: And just where did you learn that?
Frank: It's in the Bible.
Marie: Like you read the Bible.
Frank: I've read plenty of damn Bibles.
Ally: Do all animals go to heaven or just pets?
Marie: All animals go to people heaven with us, dear.
Frank: People heaven's for people. Your grandma's been hitting the sauce.