Frank Quote #429
Ally: Do some animals go to hell?
Marie: We don't use those words, Ally.
Frank: Bad animals go to hell, kid. Believe you me, I know. When I was your age, there was this mean old German shepherd named Elsa. I was walking to school one day and I must have crossed too close to her territory. In those days, the Germans were very sensitive about their territory. Well, that's all it took for Fraulein Elsa the Nazi she-wolf to jump out and take a hunk out of my all-American hide. I still have the scar. You want to see it? I'll show you.
Marie: No, Frank!
Ray: What are you doing? Sit down.
Frank: All right! The point is Fraulein Elsa's probably in hell right now dragging her Nazi butt across the devil's carpet.
Ray: Thank you for that heartwarming story.
Quote from Frank
Frank: For your information, there's a whole separate heaven for animals.
Marie: And just where did you learn that?
Frank: It's in the Bible.
Marie: Like you read the Bible.
Frank: I've read plenty of damn Bibles.
Ally: Do all animals go to heaven or just pets?
Marie: All animals go to people heaven with us, dear.
Frank: People heaven's for people. Your grandma's been hitting the sauce.
Quote from Robert
Robert: [clears throat] Death... the final goodbye. The ultimate toodle-oo. Or maybe death is not the end. Maybe it's a beginning. Perhaps, it's the ultimate howdy-do.
Ray: Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
Robert: What's the matter, Ray, too deep for you?
Ray: Oh, God.
Debra: Go ahead, Robert.
Robert: You know, I have come to the conclusion that when I die, I would like to die like Pumpernickel. Quietly, painlessly, chocolate fudge pop stuck to the corner of my mouth. For that, my friends, must be a happy death. Aloha, which means goodbye and hello.
Ray: All right.
Robert: Same with shalom.
Ray: Shut up. One meaning.
Quote from Robert
Debra: Ray. What happened here?
Ray: Oh, nothing. Nuh-uh. Why?
Ally: What's that?
Ray: Oh, oh, we gave Pumpernickel a ride in Robert's police car. Yeah, yeah. He liked it, too. Rode the whole way with his head out the window.
Ally: This isn't Pumpernickel. Daddy, where's Pumpernickel?
Ray: Um... Um...
Robert: Pumpernickel sleeps with the fish sticks.