TV Quotes

Marie: Raymond's upset. It's okay, dear. It's just preschool.
Debra: That's what I told him. And if he has to stay, Geoffrey will stay with him.
Marie: Oh, that's good.
Frank: No, no, no!
Debra: Why not, Frank?
Frank: Law of nature, you get left behind, you get eaten. You're too soft on the kids. You gotta push 'em, push 'em forward. Just keep pushing 'em!
Debra: Until when, Frank?
Frank: Until they cry. That's nature's way of letting you know you've pushed enough.
Robert: Here's a man they let have two children.

Frank: What, now you're mad? I don't get you two! I'm thinking of the kid. You know, we thought that leaving little Raymond back didn't hurt him any, but who the crap knows? You could have been a year ahead in your life right now. That car you're saving up for? You could be driving that today. You could have bought the house a year sooner, met Debra a year sooner, had the kids a year sooner which if you did, by the way, would put Michael right on track and we wouldn't have to have this conversation!
Debra: All right, just hold it, Frank. Do you wanna help the kids? Why don't you start by setting a decent moral example? None of this matters! Do you understand? They're four. We just want them to be healthy and happy!
Frank: Good luck on that one.
Debra: That's where you get it from.
Ray: That's great. I'm gonna be stupid and bald.

Agent Garfield: Mrs. Barone, you seem like an intelligent woman.
Marie: Thank you. Have a cookie.
Agent Garfield: Do you really think that a mother interfering to the extent that you have could possibly help a man get a job with the FBI? There's something else going on.
Marie: He was supposed to retire! He's a year away from not being a police officer. Which means I could stop worrying about him every second of the day. I want him to be safe. Now he wants to go from one dangerous job to another? How long do I have to walk around with a knot in my stomach? Forever? I can't do it anymore. It's too much! But he wants this job. It'll make him happy. And he should be happy. So, yes, he should have this job. Please, give him this job.
Agent Garfield: I can't do that.
Marie: No. No, don't blame him, you can punish me! Put one of those tracking things on my legs so I can't get out of the house. And if you met my husband, you'd know that's punishment enough.

Marie: Raymond, do you see what they see?
Ray: Um... I don't know.
Marie: No, tell me the truth.
Ray: Well... Maybe if I squint a little.
Marie: Oh, my God, I'm a lesbian!