Frank Quote #318
Frank: Ah, I feel like I'm back in the womb.
Sal: 15 years you've been coming to me, Frank. How come you finally sprung for a shave?
Frank: Times are good, Sal. Times are good.
Ray: [enters] Hey, Dad.
Frank: Hey, Ray. Sal, this is my son Ray.
Sal: A son? 15 years you never told me you had a son!
Frank: I got two. This one's a sports writer, a great sports writer.
Ray: Aw, come on, Dad.
Frank: Oh, don't be modest. He's one of the best. You ever hear of Ray Barone?
Sal: Ray Barone? You're Ray Barone's father?! 15 years you never told me your last name!
Frank: I didn't want to bother you.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘You Bet’ Quotes
Quote from Ray
Debra: That is weird.
Ray: It was. It was like he was trying to be a father or something. The last couple of days he's been all pleasant.
Debra: Pleasant? Was he feverish?
Ray: Remember that construction worker in "Ripley's Believe It or Not," the guy who got the metal rod stuck in his brain? You know, he lived but his personality changed?
Debra: I guess he was suddenly more irritable.
Ray: Yes. Yes, but with my father, it's the exact opposite. All of a sudden he's nice. It's weird. At first it seemed fake, but then I don't know. We were talking and he was listening. Yeah. It was nice. I don't know. I liked it.
Debra: You know what I think it might be? Your father's getting older, and this is how he's trying to connect. I mean, Frank's not the kind of guy that would change if you told him to, but maybe he's come around to it by himself.
Ray: Or there's a rod in there somewhere.
Quote from Frank
Ray: He tells me he just found out that his favorite receiver, Ricky Friedman, who also happens to be his best friend, has been with his wife.
Debra: No!
Frank: Women.
Debra: Oh, right, so you automatically blame the woman?
Frank: She's cheating on her husband!
Debra: Well, what about the friend? He has no responsibility?
Frank: Let me tell you something: God programmed man to sow his seed where he may. He programmed women to limit the crop to one farmer. His broad didn't get with the program.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Oh, Robert. I'm glad you're here. I think I figured out why your father's been acting so differently. It all adds up I mean, the pleasantness, the spending and the haircut. He's fooling around.
Robert: Fooling around? Come on.
Marie: I'll tell you something, if that weasel thinks he can stay with me and keep some chippy on the side...
Frank: [enters] Where's Ray?
Marie: Who is it, Frank? Lichtman?!
Frank: Ray!
Marie: Oh, sure sure. You're just a-
Frank: Ray Barone!
Marie: You know, that's a wig she wears!