Frank Quote #65
Ray: You know how much it meant to me to have a Mickey Mantle and what did you do? You brought home a fake.
Frank: Well, what was I supposed to do? I didn't know Mickey Mantle. And you wanted his autograph. So I went back for five games and I stood by the stadium door and Mantle never came out.
Ray: So you just got some trainer to sign it?
Frank: No, I signed it myself.
Ray: You signed it?
Frank: Yeah. I knew how much you wanted the thing so I practiced his signature over and over. Not a bad job huh? You know, if I could have gotten hold of the Mick's checkbook we'd be having this discussion on a yacht.
Ray: Why didn't you just tell me the truth?
Frank: Ah, I didn't want you to be disappointed. You're my kid. I don't blame you for being ticked off. I'm sorry I signed it. [Ray picks up the ball] What are you doing?
Ray: I want it now.
Frank: You mean that even though you know that ball's a fake, it still means something to you?
Ray: Yeah, Dad.
Frank: Then this Christmas, you're gonna love the Rolex I got you.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘The Ball’ Quotes
Quote from Ray
Ray: But no more. I'm not gonna lie to my kids anymore.
Debra: Yes, you will, Ray.
Ray: No, I will not. I'm not gonna do to them what my father did to me. From now on, only the truth. When my kids look back at me I want them to be able to say, "Okay, I'm all screwed up from that guy, but he didn't lie."
Debra: What a lovely thought for our children, Ray.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Ally is 5 years old, you Scrooge. Of course we lie. We all lie. That's what holds us all together. So you go in and lie to your daughter and I'll go home and feed the man I love.
Quote from Ray
Ray: Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho. Ally! [kicks Ally's bed] Ho, ho, ho.
Ally: Santa?
Ray: Hi, Ally.
Ally: You must be the real one.
Ray: Well, I know how much you believed in me and I just wanted to come by and say, thanks for the support.
Ally: You're welcome.
Ray: I have to go now. I have to fill all the stockings and eat all the cookies, and in general this is one of my busiest nights of the year.
Ally: Will you tuck me in, Santa?
Ray: Yeah, sure I'll tuck you in. Anything else that you need? A jug of water? A trip to the bathroom?
Ally: No, thank you.
Ray: Okay then. Sweet dreams. Always.
Ally: Santa.
Ray: Yeah?
Ally: See you next year.
Ray: Okay. Bye-bye. [trips] Oh, f-- Fa la la la la. [crawls out]