Robert: What the hell is that, man?
Ray: It's nothing. Sometimes when a sports star dies, I write a column that's like an appreciation for him.
Robert: Oh, I see. Okay. Now it all makes sense, except Dad isn't a dead sports star. Unless he got really good at hockey this morning and then you killed him.

Frank: Hey, whoa. What are you doing with those?
Ray: Oh, yeah, these are the kids' pictures. I've just- I'm gonna frame them all.
Frank: That chicken scratch? What does it say to your children if you frame even their worst crap?
Marie: It says you love them.
Frank: No, it says you love crap.
Ray: Okay, all right, I'll see ya.
Frank: Hey, hold on. You can't take those.
Ray: What? Why not? You just said they were crap.
Frank: Well, yes, I did, but they're my crap.

Ray: I can't believe it. She wants me to write her eulogy now.
Debra: Ray, she's gonna want you in the coffin with her.
Ray: Yeah, well, I'd rather not do that either.

Debra: Why did you have to write your father's eulogy?
Ray: What? It's like a writing challenge.
Debra: A challenge?
Ray: Yeah. How do you make people miss that guy? See, it's all about... Well, I mean, this is kind of technical writer stuff.
Debra: No, try me.
Ray: Okay. Everybody thinks that my father is, well, a jerk.
Debra: How technical.
Ray: So you start by talking about his jerk-like qualities, which everyone agrees with, but it also makes 'em feel a little guilty because he's laying there dead and all. And that's when I hit 'em with an example of him being sweet. And then it's, "Boo-hoo. Frank, we hardly knew ye."

Debra: No, it's sad because, what, it's been 35 years? You you never told him this, did you?
Ray: What? Told him what, about petting the bunny?
Debra: Yeah, you gotta tell him that you saw him and how it made you feel.
Ray: Are you new here?
Debra: Ray, you have to talk to him about this.
Ray: No, I'm not!
Debra: So the only way you could have a nice conversation with your father is if he's dead.
Ray: So you see my problem.

Frank: I won the lottery 20 bucks.
Debra: Congratulations, Frank.
Frank: Yeah, congratulations. That's what a person says, not what the banshee over there says. "I told you not to buy those things at the drugstore. Where's my prescription?"
Ray: You didn't get her prescription?
Frank: She'll be fine. Look, I won. I reinvested. I already scratched five, but I'm having a bum streak. I need to change up. Here, you scratch.
Ray: I get a cut, right?
Frank: 10%. But if we win big, no one tells your mother till I'm in Rio with Harriet Lichtman.
Debra: Take Ray with you. He likes Harriet Lichtman.

Ray: Hey, Dad, remember remember that bunny that me and Robert had?
Frank: Sure. That thing stank.
Ray: I think I named it Hoppy.
Frank: I hated it.
Ray: It's weird, you know, it's silly I think I saw you petting him once.
Frank: What?
Ray: Yeah, yeah, you were petting the bunny.
Frank: What, are you on drugs?
Ray: No, no, I remember. I was like eight years old and I came downstairs to get some juice, and I saw you petting it.
Frank: Maybe you came downstairs to get some drugs.

Debra: Frank, you don't understand.
Frank: I never pet a bunny!
Ray: All right, Debra, forget about it.
Debra: No. Frank, what is wrong with you? You showed a gentle side to yourself.
Frank: Why do I come here? I give you a chance to win millions, you give me this!
Ray: Dad, never mind, all right?
Frank: No, you never mind! Give me the tickets. The deal is off. I don't share anything with liars. [storms out]
Debra: Are you sure he wasn't punching the bunny?

Ray: Dad, I'm sorry I brought up the thing yesterday. I must have remembered wrong.
Marie: You have nothing to apologize about, Raymond. It's a very sweet story.
Robert: What story?
Marie: The time your father pet the bunny.
Frank: I did not!
Robert: Hoppy? You pet Hoppy?
Frank: No!
Marie: Why would you deny that?
Debra: Exactly.
Robert: Aw, you pet Hoppy. That's so sweet. You want a cookie? I'm gonna get you a cookie.
Frank: Get away from me! You happy? Look what you did.

Stan: Hey, you leave this at the lodge? [removes a pink bunny toy]
Frank: What the hell is this?
Stan: I think you know what it is.
Garvin: And I think you know what to do.
Marie: Oh, that's adorable.
Frank: Get outta here! [throws down the toy] You're telling everyone your lies.
Ray: I didn't tell them anything!
Garvin: No, it's the talk of the lodge!
Stan: How you'd go in the backyard and sing songs to the bunny and rub nosies with it.
Robert: [laughs] Rub noses with the bunny!
Frank: There never was any bunny!