Ray: All right, Ma, I was. What do you want me to say, Ma?
Marie: Nothing. I don't want you to say anything.
Ray: Ma.
Robert: I, for one, am shocked and disappointed.

[As Ray drinks out of the orange juice carton:]
Debra: Ew! Ray!
Ray: My birthday.
Debra: All right, okay. If you're sure that's the one special thing you want to do today.
Ray: [chokes] No, no, no. No, no, that's not it. By the way, that one special thing, we're doing it twice.

Frank: Happy Birthday, Ray. You wanted skis, right?
Ray: It's funny. Big skis, small box. Tell you what? I'll keep the gift and return the joke.

Ray: So, Ma, how are you?
Marie: I'm fine.
Ray: All right, come on, let's go. Let out any of that anger you've got built up in there.
Marie: I'm not angry. Hurt, confused, disillusioned maybe.
Frank: Stop overreacting, Marie. So he did a little rebelling when he was a kid.
Marie: What rebelling? I never gave him anything to rebel against.
Ray: [scoffs] Oh, yeah.
Marie: You had a nice childhood, do you hear me? Nice, nurturing and nice. I was a good mother.

Ray: She's nuts.
Frank: Yeah, and water's wet. You know, I never told you this, but I used to think of you as kind of a weak little mamma's boy.
Ray: You told me that.
Frank: Well, not anymore. Now, I see you're a troublemaker. I'm a troublemaker too. [chuckles]
Ray: Yeah?
Frank: Oh, yeah.
Ray: All right, I'm going in here now.
Frank: During the war, I found this freak show in Korea where the star attraction-
Ray: Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?
Frank: Swapping stories with you. Diz the whiz!

Debra: You know, I have to say, Ray, I am really proud of you. 'Cause I thought you'd be obsessing now about what your mom thinks about you. And you don't even care she didn't give you your birth-minute kiss this year.
Ray: Yeah, yeah. [they kiss] Huh? What time is it?
Debra: I don't know, ten o'clock.
Ray: You're right, she didn't give me my birth-minute kiss. 8:46. Every birthday. 8:46, bam! Every year.
Debra: Yeah, but you're okay about it now. You grew up and you realized you didn't need it, right?
Ray: Right. [kisses Debra] I'm sorry.
Debra: What?!
Ray: I can't do this, if my mother hasn't kissed me.

Ray: Hey, Ma.
Marie: Hi, dear, are you h--
Ray: What? What? You were gonna say, "Are you hungry?", right?
Marie: Just a habit, like smoking.

Ray: Hey, look, I'm wearing that sweater you got me. Good thing too 'cause it's freezing in here. That Dad, isn't he horrible? So is that cake for me? 'Cause you feel bad about not helping Debra with mine. That Debra, isn't she a terrible cook? I'll take some of that-
Marie: [slaps Ray's hand] Not for you.
Ray: All right, look, I'm sorry about... You know. I'm sorry I got you mad. Uh, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about all the bad stuff I did. And I'm sorry that I did all the bad stuff, so-- - okay?
Marie: No. You're just saying that to make me be happy.
Ray: All right, look, don't be happy. Just be the way that you were.

Marie: Anything happen at work today, dear? Robert?
Robert: Oh, me?
Marie: Yeah.
Robert: No.
Marie: I always want to hear about your job.
Ray: Oh, come on.
Marie: I'm talking to your brother.
Robert: Oh, well, let's see. Well, yesterday I spent all day catching up on the paperwork. And then today I find out that the city issued new forms. Now I have to spend a whole other day filling out the new paperwork.
Marie: [laughs] That's terrific. New forms.

Marie: I've got a surprise for you.
Robert: Yeah, what? You're gonna bring Dad out? He's written a song about me?
Marie: Better. Happy first birthday.
Ray: Oh my God!
Marie: I always felt bad about skipping your first birthday. So, ta-da! [kisses Robert on the forehead] I love you.
Robert: Thanks, Ma. I love you too.
Ray: Yeah, now turn over, she'll powder your ass.
Marie: I'm gonna start your laundry and then you and I are gonna have a piece of your cake.