Robert: Hey, Deb, you okay?
Debra: No, I couldn't get comfortable sleeping last night. And you know what? It's all your fault. That's right. How come you had to torture Ray at Nonny Barone's?
Robert: What do you mean?
Debra: You know, when you were kids and you slept on the pull-out couch together.
Robert: We never slept on a pull-out couch together.
Debra: Yes, you did. At Nonny Barone's little apartment in Yonkers.
Robert: Apartment? She had a nice house. We each had our own room. Oh, those were happy times.

Ray: Okay! Got some coffee and bag of Mom's homemade jelly doughnuts.
Debra: Liar!
Ray: Really, they're from scratch.
Debra: You made up that whole story, didn't you, Ray?! Nonny Barone, the apartment, the pull-out sofa bed.
You never slept with Robert, did you, Ray?! It was all a lie! You liar!
Ray: It wasn't a lie!
Debra: Oh, Robert told me!
Ray: Okay, it was a lie!

Ray: This is what the wait a minute is about. I mean sleep as in asleep.
Father Hubley: Oh, you mean actually sleep.
Ray: Yes! Thank you, yeah. You know, like, she's over here. And then... Then she moves over here, you know? And I gotta move over here. And she touches me and then, then she hugs and then she holds. Oh, believe me, you're better off without it.

Father Hubley: Maybe it would help if we looked at this from Debra's perspective.
Ray: Why?
Father Hubley: Well, to, uh understand why she does what she does. Why do you think she needs to touch you at night when you're trying to sleep?
Ray: [long pause] I got nothing.
Father Hubley: Uh, Raymond, I want you to close your eyes.
Ray: Why?
Father Hubley: Close them. Close them! Now. Try to imagine that you are Debra.
Ray: "I need new shoes!"
Father Hubley: As Debra what is happening in your life that makes you want to cling to your husband in bed?
Ray: Hold on, when I tap myself on this side it sounds much more muffled than this side.
Father Hubley: Open your eyes, Raymond. Open them, open them!
Ray: Sorry, sorry. Hey, where's my wallet? Kidding!

Father Hubley: Raymond. Maybe Debra's missing a sense of intimacy. She may not feel close to you during the day, so she seeks out that closeness at night.
Ray: That makes sense. What do you mean?
Father Hubley: Do you touch her during the day? Do you kiss her? Stroke her hair? Hold her hand?
Ray: Okay. See, we're married.
Father Hubley: You need to show your loved ones how much you care. It doesn't end with the honeymoon, Raymond.
Ray: I know.
Father Hubley: You should express your love to Debra all day long. Go home and show her how much you love her. Now.

Ray: Hey, you. Hold me closer, tiny dancer.
Debra: What are you doing, Ray?
Ray: Nothing. Just trying to show my loved one that how much I care does not end on the honeymoon.
Debra: What? Ray, come on, what? Are you helping me or what?
Ray: Yeah, no. I'm just trying to, uh--
Debra: What? Are you trying to make up with me? I forgive you. Get a mop.
Ray: I don't want to mop. I just want to touch you a little.
Debra: What?
Ray: No, not like that! I'm trying to be generally affectionate. Come on, get in on some of this.

Debra: Would you stop? Sweep up the Cheerios.
Ray: Okay? All right, but I want it noted that I was trying to touch you.
Debra: I'm sure it will come up during the insanity hearing.
Debra: Where is all this coming from?
Ray: From God.
Debra: I guess I gotta note that too.

Ray: Actually, I went to see Father Hubley.
Debra: Father Hubley?
Ray: Yeah, well, you told me that I should go see somebody.
Debra: And he told you to annoy me? That seems mean.
Ray: He told me I'm your husband and I should be more affectionate. And I thought I should be. And I want to be.
Debra: You really went to see someone about your problem?
Ray: Yeah.

Ray: I just, I thought with everything that I did today, that you know, you might not need me to keep doing it at night.
Debra: That's why you were being so affectionate? You're trying to get all your affection out of the way so you could sleep untouched?!
Ray: I need my sleep 'cause I gotta do it all over again tomorrow.
Debra: Don't bother.
Ray: Well, I, uh... Well, I can't sleep like this either.
Debra: Did it ever occur to you that you could cuddle me?
Ray: Huh?
Debra: Why don't you hold me till I fall asleep and then you can sleep any way you want?
Ray: I could do that. How long do you think it's gonna take till you fall asleep?
Debra: It depends on how much my husband has aggravated me today.
Ray: Oh, so I guess just a few seconds.