‘Mother's Day’
Season 6, Episode 22 - Aired May 6, 2002
Debra snaps at Marie when she barges in during a stressful afternoon to have the twins tell a knock-knock joke.
Quote from Frank
Ray: Dad, please, can you help me out here?
Frank: What, are you kidding me? Maybe Debra will come around at some point, but we'll never get anything out of old Sitting Bull over there.
Quote from Debra
Debra: Come on, guys! No, no, no! Baths are fun! You love baths! There's water, you get to be naked.
Ally: Jump, Geoffrey, jump!
Debra: No, Ally, the only reason I let you get older is so you could help me.
Quote from Debra
Debra: Hi, Marie.
Marie: I just brought Hilda and Artie over 'cause I wanted them to see the kids do their "knock, knock" joke.
Artie: We hear it's a hoot!
Debra: Now's not the best time, I'm trying' to get 'em upstairs.
Marie: Michael, "Knock, knock". Honey, let Michael say "Knock, knock."
Michael: Knock, knock! Knock, knock!
Debra: No "knock, knock" jokes right now, we're going' upstairs.
Marie: "Orange." Debra, say "orange."
Debra: Marie, please stop! We are not telling "knock, knock" jokes right now! We are going upstairs for our baths. All right? Thank you. Let's go. Come on. [goes upstairs with the kids]
Marie: ... Well.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Hello, Raymond, dear. I just dropped by to pick up my big spoon. Are you finished with it?
Ray: Me?
Debra: I was the one that borrowed it, remember, Marie?
Marie: If you're not done with it, Raymond, I could come back.
Ray: Ma, what's going' on?
Marie: Nothing. I'm making sauce, and I just wanted my big spoon.
Ray: Yeah? So ask Debra.
Debra: Um, I I'm finished with it, Marie, so... Here.
[Marie doesn't take the spoon from Debra, so Ray grabs it and hands it to his mother]
Marie: Thank you, Raymond. Bye-bye.
Quote from Debra
Debra: I mean, that couldn't be why she's mad at me, because I told her it was a bad time? She couldn't be mad about that, could she?
Ray: I think it's cute how you're still a little naive.
Debra: Oh, my God. I mean, God, she's a lunatic!
Ray: So why didn't you just let her hear the joke? It only takes like two seconds. Here, let's do Goliath again. Knock, knock...
Debra: No, no. That is not the point, okay? Things have to screech to a halt because Marie's gonna waltz over here with her friends to put on the "Grandma Show"?
Quote from Marie
Marie: So how are things?
Ray: Fine.
Marie: That's nice. And how's Debra?
Ray: Ma. Ah, okay, I see. You lured me over with cake so you could pump me for information about Debra.
Marie: And feed you cake.
Frank: Feed me cake.
Marie: Raymond, I was just wondering if Debra picked up on my little signal yesterday.
Ray: What, when you gave her the silent treatment?
Marie: Oh, good. You noticed it, too. I was worried that I maybe was too subtle.
Frank: Yeah, that's your problem. Too subtle.
Quote from Frank
Ray: Look, Ma, Debra's sorry, okay?
Marie: She is? Really?
Ray: Y- Yeah. Yes. I mean, she just has a hard time saying it, that's all. And aren't you the mature one?
Marie: That's true. I've always been mature.
Frank: She's as mature as the hills.
Quote from Debra
Ray: So what do you think? What do you say we end this, huh? Let's push speed dial #1. And just tell her happy Mother's Day from you.
Debra: No.
Ray: No? What? No! Not "no," "yes!" You don't really wanna stay mad, do you?
Debra: No, I'm not mad at her anymore.
Ray: Yeah, but- but-
Debra: I'm just gonna live my life. And you know what? I think my life is gonna be better from now on.
Ray: But it won't! How could it be? There's gonna be tension!
Debra: I think what I've done is actually remove the source of the tension.
Ray: You mean my mom?
Debra: I think so, yes.
Quote from Ray
Ray: Knock, knock.
Debra: Who's there?
Ray: Ivan.
Debra: Ivan who?
Ray: I've an idea: talk to my mother.
Quote from Frank
Robert: Here ya go, Ma. There are for you.
Ray: Hey, what are you talking about?
Robert: Happy Mother's Day.
Marie: Oh! They're lovely! Thank you, dear.
Ray: Okay.
Debra: Listen, Ray, l- [sees Marie]
[As Debra and Marie fall silent and turn away from each other, Robert hurries to sit down and avoid their gaze.]
Frank: ... Korea.