‘Meeting the Parents’
Season 7, Episode 17 - Aired February 24, 2003
Frank and Marie meet Amy's parents, Hank (Fred Willard) and Pat (Georgia Engel).
Quote from Frank
Marie: Now I would like to say something.
Robert: Ma, sit down.
Marie: I most certainly will not. Now, I've heard what you had to say, and forgive me, but I take umbrage. I take severe umbrage.
Frank: Me, too! Umbrage!
Robert: You don't even know what umbrage means.
Frank: Shut up!
Pat: Oh, my.
Quote from Robert
Amy: Mom, Dad, maybe you should just go.
Hank: Amy, I don't appreciate your tone.
Amy: Well, I don't appreciate you coming here to talk me out of marrying the man I love.
Robert: All right, look, it's okay, Amy. It's my parents. They're screwing everything up. It's what they do.
Marie: What do we do?
Robert: What do you do? What do you do?
Marie: Yeah.
Robert: You were smashing Dad's pants muffin!
Quote from Hank
Peter: So what happened?
Pat: Oh, Peter, it's awful. Your sister's been raising her voice and using salty language.
Hank: Well, this is what happens. You move to the city, you fall in with the wrong crowd.
Marie: You hear that, Frank? We're the wrong crowd.
Frank: At least we're not liars.
Hank: Excuse me?
Frank: Everybody's had a muffin. You're full of crap.
Hank: That's it. Let's go, Mother.
Pat: But what about Amy?
Hank: We'll come back and talk some sense into her once they're gone. Come along.
Quote from Peter
Peter: Whoo. Was quite a mess in there, huh? I know how it feels. I hate that kind of tension. I mean, those people they shouldn't be in the same room together. Ever.
Ray: Okay.
Peter: That's right. You know what I'm saying. This wedding mustn't happen.
Ray: Wait a minute. Why are you so against this wedding?
Peter: [sighs] Listen, man. You know, first, Amy went to college. Then she got a job in the city. Then she met your brother. And now she wants to get married. I'm starting to think she doesn't wanna live at home.
Ray: But that's what people do.
Peter: Oh, yeah? Well, what am I supposed to do? It's just me and my parents, man. I can't take it.
Ray: I hear ya.
Quote from Robert
Amy: Oh, Mom and Dad! What are you doing here?
Pat: Hello, Amy.
Hank: Hi. Hi, honey. How are you?
Amy: I'm fine. I just... I wasn't expecting you.
Robert: [enters in underwear] Amy, is this the biggest towel you got? Because l...
Pat: Oh!
Robert: I was just going swimming.
Quote from Pat
Hank: What is Robert doing here?
Pat: That's Grandma Trudy's afghan.
Quote from Robert
Pat: Amy, could we talk with you?
Amy: What is it?
Hank: Well, your brother told us you're going ahead with the wedding despite our objections.
Pat: You can imagine how that makes us feel.
Amy: All right, listen, I can't do this right now. But if you'd like to join us, you're more than welcome. How about some coffee? Ow!
Robert: Amy, are you all right? What's the matter?
Amy: I really burned myself here.
Robert: Come over here. Come on over, sit down. I know what to do. Here.
Pat: I'll get some butter.
Robert: Actually, cold water is the first best treatment. Huh? Okay? Feel better?
Amy: Yeah, a little.
Robert: No, no, no. Wait. Not yet.
Amy: Thanks.
Robert: Okay?
Pat: Oh, water is better than butter.
Quote from Robert
Hank: By the way, young lady, did you even go to church this morning?
Robert: Uh... We went to church last week. This Sunday, all family.
Quote from Frank
Frank: Get your hand out of my pants!
Debra: How's everybody doing?
Robert: We're fine. Dad stuffed a muffin in his pocket.
Debra: Marie.
Marie: Oh, fine, keep it. It's fine with me. [Marie slaps Frank's bottom]
Frank: Hey! Hey, hey.
Marie: Enjoy your crumbs.