Robert: I went to the dentist. So, how is e'rydody? Can't wait hor the turkey.
Amy: Robert.
Robert: What?
Amy: Robert had a procedure.
Robert: Amy, come on!
Debra: Robert, did you have those anti-wrinkle injections put in your face?
Robert: Terhats.
Ray: "Turd hats"?
Amy: Your mother noticed a few wrinkles on him, so he goes to some doctor in the Yellow Pages and paralyzes his face!
Robert: It's tentarary.

Amy: Ray, what did you do to your hair?
Ray: Nothing!
Robert: Oh, I know. Na nust'a noticed something adout his hair and something adout her eyes. [laughs] That's hilarious!
Ray: Yeah, ha ha ha. You need some oil, Tin Man?

Robert: I heel great adout nysel.
Marie: Robbie stop talking that way now. It's annoying.
Ray: He can't stop, Ma, 'cause he put injections in his face.
Marie: What?
Robert: Raynond! Who are you to say that? What I do hith ny hace is ny dusiness!
Amy: Robert!
Robert: No! I'm really tissed!
Marie: I don't understand. Why would you do such a thing?
Robert: Ny? Decause a you! You're the on who said you could see all the wrinkles in ny hace!
Marie: I like those lines. That's character. Now, you look like a totem pole!
Ray: [laughs] Let me translate: "Totem tole."

Frank: Or maybe it's easier to change than to have to listen to you.
Marie: Really, Frank? That's funny coming from you, because you don't do either. [Frank is silent] Frank? [Marie takes the remote]
Frank: Hey!
Debra: You know what? Let's not do this today. It's Thanksgiving.
Frank: That's right. It's Thanksgiving, and I'm thankful for football. Give me that remote, lady!

Marie: At least put some butter on that.
Frank: No.
Marie: Some jelly?
Frank: No.
Marie: Mustard. I got brown mustard.
Frank: I like it dry.
Marie: Well, have some milk or something, 'cause you're gonna choke to death.
Frank: What do you care?

Frank: We got any meat for a sandwich?
Marie: Yeah, I got hard salami!
Frank: And I'll take some juice.
Marie: Okay! And, oh, I got the brown mustard! And you know what? I-I think maybe I'll just wear the glasses for reading and driving like the doctor said. W- Wait a minute. W- Wait a minute. What are you doing? It's Thanksgiving!
Frank: So?
Marie: So? Everybody's over there the kids, Amy... and Debra cooked all that food. [off Frank's look] You're right. We'll eat first.

Marie: That was such a wonderful night.
Frank: What's the big deal? It was just dinner and you people.
Marie: I'm talking about Robert's wonderful announcement. I am so happy you're back with Amy.
Frank: A wonderful announcement would have been, "I'm picking up the check."

Robert: Hey, guess what? Amy's coming to Thanksgiving, too.
Debra: Oh.
Ray: That's in two days. Are you sure you can stay together that long?
Robert: Zing zing zing. Huh, Cubby?

Marie: I am not getting glasses, and we're not talking about this anymore. Just eat your dessert.
Debra: Okay. Ew. My fork is dirty.
Marie: What? There are no dirty forks in my house. Let me see. Oh my God.
Ray: What, Ma?
Marie: I washed this fork myself by hand. I guess I missed it. [exits]
Frank: Let's hide.

Marie: But I'll tell ya, on the drive home it was as if I was seeing the neighborhood for the first time.
Ray: That's great, Ma.
Debra: Oh, Marie, we are so proud of you!
Marie: Isn't it wonderful?
Debra: Yes.
Marie: Oh, look. You know what else I can see? There's a cobweb forming under the television.
Debra: Wow!