Debra: Robert, I think you're getting carried away.
Frank: Debra, please. We're talking.
Robert: Oh, come on, Deb. Come on! You know how she is! Now's your chance. Tell her how you feel! It's time to rise up and cast off the shackles!
Ray: Easy there, Spartacus.
Debra: Yeah, Robert, in hindsight, maybe faxing that letter wasn't the best idea, but I think Marie was only trying to help.
Robert: Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're gonna stand there and tell me that she doesn't wrap her tentacles around every part of your life and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze and squeeze?! Is that what you're gonna tell me right now?!
Debra: Okay, but she's not a saboteur.

Robert: [to himself] Stupid suit. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
Agent Garfield: Good morning.
Robert: Oh, good morning.
Agent Garfield: Special Agent Garfield.
Robert: Lieutenant Robert Barone.
Agent Garfield: Were you just saying something?
Robert: No. Just sitting here. Quietly.
Agent Garfield: You didn't say, "I hate you, I hate you"?
Robert: Oh. No.

Marie: I really think the FBI could use my son.
Agent Garfield: Mrs. Barone.
Marie: Now, I know he overreacted a little to my letter, but he'd be an asset to your organization-
Agent Garfield: Mrs. Barone-
Marie: So could you pick up the phone-
Agent Garfield: Mrs. Barone-
Marie: Yes?
Agent Garfield: How did you get in here?
Marie: Well, I talked to the man up front, and I told him I had to speak to you about my son Robert. And they asked me if I was the lucky suit lady, which I guess I am. So I said yes, and they smiled and they let me in.
Agent Garfield: Bastards.

Marie: I wanted to talk to you face to face. That letter, I just scribbled that out to get to you as fast as I could.
Agent Garfield: Mrs. Barone, I'm trying to understand why you're really here.
Marie: I'm a mother. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You have a picture of your dear mother looking at you every day.
Agent Garfield: That's my wife.
Marie: A handsome woman.

Agent Garfield: Then you wrote this letter which you said you scribbled out in a hurry.
Marie: That's right.
Agent Garfield: Mrs. Barone, I spent a year teaching handwriting analysis at the academy.
Marie: I always got "A"s in penmanship, so I don't know where you're going with this.
Agent Garfield: This letter was written with a cool and purposeful hand.
Marie: No, I was in a rush.
Agent Garfield: And then, even though Robert told you the letter embarrassed him, now you arrive in person.
Marie: I wanted to fix what I did. I made cookies. Double chocolate chip.

Marie: You know, I was thinking about what you said.
Robert: Uh-huh.
Marie: About me sabotaging you. And although I'm not crazy about the word "sabotage," um, maybe I understand now what you meant.
Robert: Oh, yeah?
Marie: Yes. After you said it, I went for a drive. Um, and I stopped at that diner on Roosevelt Boulevard for a cup of coffee and some banana cream pie. And all of a sudden, I thought, "My gosh, maybe Robbie is right."
Robert: Really?
Marie: It just hit me all of a sudden.
Robert: Really? At a diner? Over banana cream pie?
Marie: It's funny how the mind works.
Robert: It didn't happen at the FBI office of Agent Tom Garfield about 35 minutes ago?
Marie: No, I think it was the diner.

Marie: All right, so I went to visit him. Love makes you do crazy things sometimes.
Robert: Banana cream pie.
Marie: How did you find out?
Robert: He called me.
Marie: What?! How dare he stick his nose into my business!
Robert: Look, Ma, he told me what you said.
Marie: Well, he's a liar.
Robert: Look, Ma he told me how you feel about my job.
Marie: Well, I'm sorry. I can't help it.
Robert: I know. Thanks.

Marie: So, you going to work now?
Robert: Yep.
Marie: Well, then, you-
Robert: I'll be careful. Come on, I'll walk you to your car.
Marie: Listen, just so you know I didn't make everything up, I really did stop for pie.
Robert: That's okay.
Marie: But it was coconut. I don't know why I changed it.

Robert: Oh, great. You're all here.
Debra: I was just thinking that myself.
Robert: I have some exciting news.
Frank: Your blue ox came home?
Ray: [laughs] That's funny. I was gonna say, "Dr. Frankenstein built a bride?"

Robert: This was my lucky suit.
Frank: Well, I think you're down to lucky pants.