Lois: See, I was thinking you and I could plan a surprise party for her.
Ray: A surprise party?
Lois: What do you think?
Ray: Nyah. I don't know. I mean, I don't think Debra would want us to go to all that trouble, you know? I was just planning something a little more low-key, you know, like-like dinner with my family.
Lois: Yeah. I think dinner with your family, uh, has been done.

Robert: People make mistakes.
Lois: I would say she's the one that made the mistake.
Robert: Thank you. [Lois puts her hand on Roberts] Oh, listen.
Lois: No, I was just trying to be consoling.
Robert: Good luck to you.
Lois: No, I didn't mean-
Robert: Good luck to you! [runs out]
Lois: [to herself] I'm sorry, he really is crazy.

Ray: [clears throat loudly] How's that water? That's good water, right?
Lois: Water? Mm. Yes, it's fine.
Debra: Ray?
Ray: Well, it's New York water. She's from Connecticut. Where they don't get the, the New York water there.
Lois: I'll tell you where they have the most delightful water. We were hiking in Switzerland.
Debra: Mmm.
Lois: And just as we reach the Jungfrau, we saw this lovely stream. They call it a wasserfluss.
Ray: I'm out.

Debra: Yeah. I'm going to start calling Marie "Mom." Isn't that nice?
Lois: Oh? That is nice.
Debra: You know, like you and Raymond.
Lois: Mmm-hmm.
Debra: What's wrong? Is something the matter?
Lois: No, no, no, no, nothing. It just sounded a little strange hearing you call her "Mom"... because I'm your mom.
Marie: Well. Well, I'm Raymond's mom, and I don't have a problem with this.
Lois: I'm sorry. I can't explain it, but just hearing Debra saying that, it just feels wrong.

Ray: All right, well, I mean, let's just think this out. You guys, you're getting along pretty good in every department. So why not just slap a couple of fresh "I dos" on there, and make this the best Thanksgiving ever?
Lois: Raymond, we're not in love.
Ray: Love. [scoffs]
Lois: We have to talk to her.
Warren: I guess I'd better get dressed.
Lois: Oh, would you bring down my earrings? I left them on the bedside table.
Warren: I didn't see them.
Lois: Well, they're there.
Warren: No, I specifically remember not seeing earrings on the bedside table.
Lois: Well, how can a person specifically remember not seeing something? I'll get them myself.
Warren: Fine, but they're not there.
Lois: Oh, for God's sake.
Ray: Not in love? Come on.

Marie: This is for you.
Lois: Oh, you shouldn't have.
Marie: Now, now, it's a box of the finest milk chocolate.
Lois: Thank you, Marie. I still haven't quite finished the last box. [chuckles]

[flashback:]
Lois: I've never been a sports fan, but now... Go sports!
Ray: Okay.

Debra: I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just-
Lois: Oh, honey. You don't have to apologize to me. I'm the one that's sorry. I know I'm not good at certain things.
Debra: No, no. You're right. This is your vacation.
Lois: No, I mean I- I've never been good at those things. You know, when you were growing up...
Debra: No, Mom, you did other things. We always spent a lot of time together. You know, you took me to museums and the theater. And we traveled. You opened up the whole world to me, you know?
Marie: And that's important.
Debra: Marie, would you mind?
Lois: What, dear?
Debra: A little privacy.
Lois: Uh, Debra?
Debra: Please?
Marie: Well, why don't I just go clean? Also important.

Warren: Maybe Dr. Sheely will have something to say about all of your pent up hostility.
Lois: My hostility?
Warren: That's right! You ought to see this woman in traffic. Curses like a stevedore!
Lois: Well, it's not because of the traffic, Warren. It's because of your insane whistling!
Warren: This whistling drowns out the profanity!
Lois: Well pucker up, Warren! Because here it comes!

Lois: Well, it was 41 years, so you can't say we didn't give it a shot. Now please, don't be upset, because I'm not, really. I feel wonderful and free.
Debra: You're unbelievable. And what about Dad?
Lois: Well, he's fine too, and we'll stay close. We'll probably be better friends than before. And you know Pat and Cyril went through this, and they're much happier now. They share custody of the dogs.
Debra: This is just like you, you know? Your hip and trendy lifestyle. It's chic to get separated now, so that's what you do instead of putting any effort into-
Lois: Oh, come on, Debra, now that's not fair. It's been nothing but effort, and I have tried.
Debra: You have never tried anything for longer than it was on a magazine cover.