Pat: Oh, Peter. Robert, have you met Amy's brother, Peter?
Peter: No. We've never had the pleasure. I met his brother, Raymond, once. He came into my comic-book store. I liked him.
Robert: Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Peter. I've heard a lot of great things about you. [Robert offers his hand, but Peter doesn't shake it]
Pat: Is that a new shirt?
Peter: Yes, it is, Mama. Do you like it?
Pat: Very much. You look handsome.
Peter: Thank you, Mama.

Marie: Robbie, you're out late tonight. Where were you?
Robert: Uh, nowhere, Ma. I was just out. Raymond, do you have a minute? Could I...
Ray: What?
Marie: Something is wrong. What is it? Is it something with Amy? [off Robert's look] I knew it! That's the look you have every time you break up with her!
Debra: Oh, Robert, not again?!
Marie: You broke up with Amy. You know that you're killing me, Robbie?! Do you even care that you're killing me?!
Robert: Ma!
Marie: Dig a grave and throw me in!
Frank: I've got a shovel.

Robert: Listen, Ma. I said I want to marry Amy. But I went to ask her parents first, and that's where I was tonight.
Marie: Oh, how are her parents? I'm sure they're very nice.
Robert: They are very nice, and they very nicely said no.
Debra: What?!
Ray: What do you mean no?!
Marie: I don't understand. How could they say that?
Frank: I could see that.
Marie: Stop it, Frank. This is an outrage!

Ray: Why'd you go to her parents?
Robert: It was just a formality. I never thought they'd say no. And her brother, Peter, he hates me.
Ray: Oh, I meet that guy once. He's like a psycho nut-job.
Robert: Yeah? He's fond of you.
Ray: Yeah? What'd he say?

Robert: Don't you want to put this on?
Amy: Oh, it's beautiful. I just love you so much. I'm getting married! To you! Robert and I are getting married. There's going to be a marriage, and I will be the wife. A bride! With a dress! Thanks for marrying me!
Robert: My pleasure.
Amy: Can you do one thing for me?
Robert: For you, I'll do two things.
Amy: I know it sounds queer, but it's important. Can you ask my father for my hand? It would mean so much to them.
Robert: No problem.

Hank: Well, there we are. Is that not our Lord in all His glory, or what?
Pat: It is a glorious puzzle.

Robert: Hello, Mrs. MacDougall, Mr. MacDougall.
Hank: Give me strength.
Robert: Now, before you say anything, I would like you to meet someone who I believe will make you feel a heck of a lot better about me. Because you will see the type of person with whom I associate with. This is an award-winning journalist, a wholesome family man, a-a-and one of Lynbrook, Long Island's, most exemplary citizens.
Ray: How ya doin'? I'm his brother.
Pat: Hello. I've heard a lot of nice things about you. Please, come in.
Robert: Okay, we're in! It's a lovely home, isn't it?
Ray: It is lovely.
Robert: Pennsylvania.
Pat: Let me get you some warm cider, um...
Robert: Raymond. Ray Barone, sportswriter. Newsday newspaper. Prize winner. Won a prize!
Pat: I'll get the cider.

Frank: Better head for the hills, Robert. The womenfolk are tying the noose up pretty tight.
Robert: Could we go talk for a couple minutes?
Amy: Sure.
Marie: Robbie, I found a place that can make you a tuxedo. They do the circus.

Robert: Listen, Amy, I went to your parents' house.
Amy: You did? Did you ask them? Oh, they must've been so thrilled.
Robert: Your mother couldn't stop crying. Listen, Amy. They said no.
Amy: What?
Robert: They don't approve of me, of my past. They said no to me.
Amy: What?! Really?!
Robert: Amy, they love you, and they want what's best for you, and I understand that. So I'm sorry.
Amy: Well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I want to get married! And we can fix this! I know we can. My parents will learn to love you the way your parents love you.
Robert: Great.
Amy: I know. I'll talk to my brother, Peter. He'll help us.

Peter: Well, we should do this again sometime. But now, if you'll excuse me, Miss Puss and I have some cocoa on the stove.