Marie: I told you to wear a hat. Why can't you listen to me?
Frank: All right, enough, I'm fine!
Marie: You're fine? You look like the top of a police car. Put some cream on that.
Frank: No!
Marie: Frank, you put some cream on that head right now. You're gonna be in pain later.
Frank: I've been in pain since the wedding!

Ray: Hey, what did you do? Feed the ducks or something?
Ally: You wanna feed 'em with us tomorrow?
Ray: Yeah, maybe, we'll see.
Debra: Yeah, yeah, Daddy's very busy, you guys. He really doesn't have time for fun this trip. He has a lot of moping to do, which is quite time consuming.

Robert: Hey, Deb.
Debra: You know, I know it's none of my business, but I cannot believe you took that card. Ugh! Why do we even weren't you trying to make it work with Amy? I thought that you were happy with Amy and unhappy with Joanne "the Nutcracker." But you know what? You and Ray do what you want.
Ray: Me?

Marie: We are all going to Italy.
Robert: What?
Marie: For two weeks.
Debra: How?
Marie: You see, it is a big deal. As you know, my birthday is coming up, and I have secretly been putting aside money for 45 years, and this is what I want.
Frank: I want half that money. I want all that money. That money's mine!
Marie: Quiet. So I've been in touch with my mother's cousin Colletta, who lives in a little village outside of Rome, and we're invited, and I'm paying the whole family.
Debra: Me too?
Marie: Of course you, dear. You're family! [Debra celebrates]
Robert: Me too?
Marie: Yes, yes, and the kids too everyone.
Robert: Maybe I can tell my lady troubles to the Pope.

Frank: You made this?
Aunt Colletta: Of course.
Frank: I married the wrong broad.

Giorgio: I speak English little.
Frank: Oh, yeah? Hey, beautiful.
Giorgio: I'm glad you're here. Is better. Not so much... [nagging noises]
Frank: What?
Giorgio: [nagging noises with hand]
Frank: Oh, I get it, yeah... [nagging noises]
Giorgio: Si [both make nagging noises]

Ray: Come on, what are you all mopey about?
Robert: I don't know. I can't enjoy myself because of my dilemma.
Ray: It's not a dilemma.
Robert: It is a dilemma, Raymond. You're not the only one with dilemmas. I got Amy, but I keep thinking about Joanne. I can't sort out my feelings. And I'm in the most gorgeous place in the world, and I'm sitting here next to you.

Marie: Robby, here's your peach. Raymond, you sure you don't want anything?
Ray: No, I can't taste anything, Ma.
Marie: Don't be sick here.

Robert: You know, I called Joanne today.
Ray: What? What, from here? What's wrong with you?
Robert: I hung up when she answered. I couldn't talk to her. Cost me 20 bucks. I'm a loser. It's just that I wanna... [tastes ice cream] Holy Mother of God.
Ray: What?
Robert: This. This- This is... It's as if I've never tasted a peach before. Mmm!
Ray: It's as if you've never been in public before. Would you stop it?

Ray: What? What the hell are you doing?
Robert: Ray, it's that thing. It's that thing, you know what Dad always talks about, the thunderbolt.
Ray: Who, the gelato girl?
Robert: Don't call her that.
Ray: What are you talking about? That's what she is. Right, I don't know her long-term goals.