‘Home From School’
Season 8, Episode 3 - Aired October 6, 2003
Ray has to work from home after Michael misses another day of school.
Quote from Ray
Michael: Daddy?
Ray: Yeah?
Michael: I have to go to the bathroom.
Ray: You know what? Me too. And let me tell you something else: You know what happened to Butt-Crack Saganski?
Michael: What?
Ray: He's now the president of Fruit of the Loom underwear.
Quote from Ray
Ray: Oh, yeah! Dad's still got the moves, Mikey! I'm goin' off the mat! Whoo! I am on fire!
Michael: Hi, Mommy.
Debra: What are you doing?
Ray: What am I doing? I'm getting all funky, baby! [to Geoffrey] Take over. [to Debra] That's hereditary, that funk.
Debra: So this is your solution? Let him stay home all day and have a dance party? He's never gonna go to school again!
Ray: Michael, you going to school tomorrow?
Michael: Yep.
Debra: Really?
Ray: You heard the boy. Oh, and, uh, when you pack his lunch tomorrow, he wants a salami sandwich with chips. Barbecue flavor. And don't give him the celery with peanut butter. He's just gonna trade it for a Fruit Roll-Up.
Debra: How did you do this?
Ray: Well, let's just say our kids are lucky that their father has led a very embarrassing life.