Ray: Never mind, are you coming?
Gianni: If I have to.
Ray: Yes, you have to.
Gianni: Why don't you renew the bachelor party?
Ray: You're coming.
Andy: Is there food?
Robert: Hors d'oeuvres.
Gianni: Hors d'oeuvres? I'm out.

Andy: Why doesn't she just take something for this?
Ray: What's she gonna take?
Robert: Raymond, have you ever been in a drugstore. Huh? There's a whole wing dedicated to this problem.
Ray: Yeah, all right, what am I gonna do- What am I gonna do? Buy her something? Besides, I wouldn't even know what to get.
Gianni: Get 'em all.

Andy: So how you feeling, Ray? Look how cute you look in your little pajamas.
Gianni: They have a little trapdoor in the back?
Ray: Yeah. Yeah, open it up, there's a picture of you.

Gianni: Come on, Ray! Our bodies are covered with hair for a reason.
Andy: To nauseate your fellow diners? Because we're supposed to be men.
Gianni: And Ray, as your friend, I can honestly say, unless you can provide for and protect your woman, you should get out of the way and give me a shot.

Frank: Hey, Gianni, you going to the kitchen?
Gianni: I'm watching the game.
Frank: You're not thirsty? You look like you're thirsty.
Robert: You look hungry, too.
Gianni: What do I want?
Frank: Pretzels and ginger ale.
Robert: And macaroni and cheese.
Gianni: Man, are they annoying.
Debra: At least you get to go home.

Ray: I can honestly say this was not my fault. The lady got a little bit out of control.
Gianni: Really? I gotta tell ya, I always thought that about Debra.
Ray: What? What do you mean? What are you thinking about Debra?
Bernie: Yeah, I can see that. She seems to be very, uh... [French accent] animal.
Robert: All right, all right, a little respect. Is this how you talk about your wife? I guess they just handed out wives to anybody, huh?

Ray: Hey, so you really thought that about Debra?
Gianni: Yeah. She's like one of those "uptight and bossy on the surface but wild underneath" girls.
Bernie: I'm uptight. You think I'm wild underneath?
Gianni: I'd hate to be underneath.

Ray: The game started already?
Gianni: No, they're waiting for you.

Robert: Okay, look, I'll tell you what, I'll bend over, and I want you to recreate exactly what she did to you.
Ray: All right.
Gianni: Robert, do you want a glass of wine first?

Gianni: I gotta tell ya, Ray, this is the worst bachelor party I've ever been to.
Robert: I'm enjoying it.
Ray: Yeah, come on it's is his last chance for fun before he moves out and becomes Mr. Amy MacDougall. Besides, what are you complaining about? You've won every hand.
Gianni: It's three people. I'm up 35 cents.