Ray: Hey, you're the one who started the whole thing.
Frank: Well, what the hell's that suppose to mean?
Ray: Oh, you don't remember the stories? Gargoyles in our closet? Or a big brother who's just waiting for me to fall asleep so he can steal my brain?
Robert: Or a little brother who's half-spider?
Frank: [chuckles] Half-spider.
Ray: Yeah, very funny, Dad.
Frank: Give me a break! You asked for them. "Scare us, Daddy. Tell us a scary story." We also asked to drive the car. You know? I mean, you should know better. You scared the hell out of us. We couldn't sleep.
Robert: Yeah, couple of times we even wet our beds.
Ray: I never did that.

Ray: Sorry. Look, I was six! I was under a lot of pressure.
Marie: Oh, you just did that, Raymond, 'cause you wanted to be near your mommy.
Frank: Well ain't this a kick in the ass? Everyone was so quick to blame me for all of this, but look at you. You've all got blood on your hands. Now I'm going back to bed and I'm gonna sleep the sleep of the just.

Robert: Okay, when do we go?
Ray: No, we just wait. Wait until he gets into bed.
Robert: Yeah, good. Get comfortable there, old man. Nice, nice and relaxed.
Frank: [o.s.] Come on, Marie. What's with that face? They're gonna be fine.
Ray: Oh, no, Mom!
Frank: Oh, I don't want to scare her.
Ray: Damn it!
Robert: Let's just walk out right now.
Ray: No, no! No, we'll wait. We'll wait till they fall asleep. Then we'll sneak out. Damn.
Frank: [o.s.] Hey, you know what we haven't done in a while?
Robert: What? What haven't they done?
Frank: [o.s.] Come over here.
Robert: Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Ray: Please don't. Don't, don't, don't, don't go over there, Ma. Don't go, don't go.
Frank: [o.s.] Oh, yeah!
Robert: We're in here! We're in here!
Ray: We didn't see anything! We were in the closet! We were in the closet!
Frank: Scared ya, huh?

Ray: You're a sick man!
Robert: What the hell is wrong with you?!
Ray: I'll tell you! I'll tell you what's wrong with him! He's a sick man! You're a sick man!
Robert: Sick man!
Frank: You tried to scare me, huh?! When you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Marie: What's going on here?
Frank: Got 'em again, Marie! Terrified them!
Marie: Oh, Frank!
Ray: He's a sick man, Ma!
Marie: I know. Did he scare you?
Robert: Uh-huh.
Marie: Oh, come on. Let's go downstairs, all right? I'll make you boys some cocoa and I still have the butter cookies. Everything will be fine, honey. I'll protect you from your mean 'ol daddy. lsn't this nice? I love it!
Frank: Scared myself a little.

Frank: Hey, Ray, did you hear my imitation of Robert's tushy cushion? "How about a salad, fatso?" A salad! Oh, man. [exits]
Ray: Talking tushy cushion. That's clever.
Robert: Yeah, you should hear his new bit about the toilet seat talking to me.

Robert: Here ya go, Ma. There are for you.
Ray: Hey, what are you talking about?
Robert: Happy Mother's Day.
Marie: Oh! They're lovely! Thank you, dear.
Ray: Okay.
Debra: Listen, Ray, l- [sees Marie]
[As Debra and Marie fall silent and turn away from each other, Robert hurries to sit down and avoid their gaze.]
Frank: ... Korea.