Debra: Okay, so tomorrow, don't forget, you're picking them up, right? [off Ray's confused look] It's as if I speak in tongues. Don't tell me you forgot about tomorrow?
Ray: I won't.
Debra: Do you have any interest in your children?
Ray: Yes yes, and tomorrow, I pick them up.
Debra: From where?
Ray: You don't know?
Debra: Pick them up from their school...
Ray: Prayer.
Debra: Rehearsal at the...
Ray: Steakhouse?
Debra: Auditorium. Be there by 3:00. Sarah knows you're going to pick them up.
Ray: Sarah?
Debra: Their teacher! You are incredible! Sarah!
Ray: I know it's Sarah, okay? I was kidding you. I know it's Sarah.
Debra: Yeah, you know it's Sarah. Ray, what's my middle name? Come on, Ray. What's my middle name?
Ray: ...Sexy.

Robert: Dad, you wearing aftershave?
Frank: Yeah.
Robert: Doesn't look like you shaved.
Frank: I didn't shower, either. Hence the aftershave.
Robert: Nice try.
Ray: [enters] Oh, what are you guys doing here?
Frank: Watching the Knicks on the dish.
Robert: And holding our breath.

Frank: What are you doing to these kids?
Ray: They're in a play.
Robert: Let me guess, "Death of a Salesman"?

Frank: And next time you're out, you should get a couple of skirts for your twins, there.
Debra: What?
Ray: Dad's mad 'cause the boys are fairies in the school play.
Marie: Oh, they'll make adorable fairies.
Robert: Well, they already do. You should have seen them in the little wings.
Frank: Somebody just kill me.

Debra: I tell you, Frank would probably have been happy if I had signed the kids up to run the tape recorder.
Ray: What do you mean "sign them up"?
Debra: Yeah, I signed them up.
Ray: Well, what do you mean? You volunteered them to be fairies?
Debra: Yeah.
Ray: Why?
Debra: 'Cause I thought it would be cute to see them wear sparkly outfits and get a chance to dance.
Marie: Do they have wands? I could make them wands.
Debra: Yeah.

Ray: Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. You made them fairies when there was an opening at tape recorder?
Debra: Yeah.
Ray: Well, why would you do that?!
Debra: What are you talking about? You said you were fine with it.
Ray: I'm not saying that I'm not fine with it, all right? I am, I'm fine with it.
Debra: You don't sound fine with it.
Ray: That's 'cause I didn't know we had a choice. I didn't know you pushed them into this.
Debra: I didn't push them. I thought they would like it. And they do. They're having fun.
Ray: Y- Yeah, fun. They're five, okay? They have fun with the empty roll from the toilet paper.
Debra: Why are you getting so upset? You know, you're sounding like your father.
Ray: I'm not my father, okay? This is not about that. This is about you making decisions for our children that don't involve... their free will!

Debra: [to Ray] Oh, so you're worried about their free will?
Robert: [chuckles] No, he's not.
Ray: Why are you still here?
Robert: Free will.

Ray: You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Who says you get to make all the decisions in this house, huh?! You know, they're my boys too, all right?! Why don't you worry a little bit more about the girl?
Robert: Ally.
Ray: I know her name! And you know what? As far as the boys are concerned, maybe there's such a thing as too liberal! Ms. "Hippie Go-Free-Free"!

Ray: That's enough for today, all right? Maybe we'll poke a few holes in there for light and air.
Michael: Daddy, can I put my wings on?
Ray: Well, actually Daddy's got to bring the wings back to school now.
Michael: I like my wings.
Geoffrey: Me too.
Ray: But rocks don't have wings. Huh? And if you're a rock, you get you're going to be smooth and cool. Which will come in real handy later with the ladies. You're smooth. You're cool.
Michael: I want to be a fairy!
Geoffrey: Me too!
Ray: Well, listen, maybe Ms. Sarah will let you have candy under there.
Debra: Ray, take them back.
Ray: How would you guys like a puppy under there?
Debra: Ray!

Sarah: Did you bring the wings back?
Ray: Yeah.
Sarah: I need the wings.
Ray: Well, here's the thing. The rock idea really didn't fly.
Sarah: But I thought you said your boys dreamed of being rocks.
Ray: Ah, kids and their dreams. But I think it would be okay if they just went back to being fairies.
Sarah: Oh. Actually, I've already got two new fairies. I'm sorry.
Ray: Oh. Well, you know what? How about you could have four fairies. Two over there, a couple more over there. For my money, you can never have too many fairies.