Debra: Was he naked? [Ray nods] I'm sorry, sweetie. [Ray sits down on the bed and hugs a soft toy] You know what? I'll go get it.
Ray: No!
Debra: Ray.
Ray: You can't go near there.
Debra: What are you talking about?
Ray: Just sleep now. [tries to close Debra's eyes]
Debra: What is wrong with you?
Ray: He and your mother are getting it on!
Debra: What?
Ray: It was horrible. She was all... And he was all...
Debra: Are you sure they were doing that?
Ray: Well, why don't you ask the hairs on my neck?
Debra: You know, I knew it. I could tell that there was something between them.
Ray: Yes! My pillow!

Debra: Here we are.
Ray: Oh, hey, Deb... and everybody else.
Marie: Happy Thanksgiving.
Ray: Happy Thanksgiving.
Marie: Debra said she needed my roasting pan, which I've recognized was a cry for help. Don't worry, I can salvage this meal.

Debra: Are you getting back together again or not?
Lois: Well, no, but-
Debra: But what? What? If you're not getting back together, what the hell are you doing?
[Frank and Pat enter]
Frank: Hello.
Pat: Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Amy: Mom, Dad.
Warren: Sweetheart, you don't have to be married to have sex.
Lois: In fact, nothing has freed us to explore our sexuality more than our divorce.
Robert: We're rehearsing for a local musical.
[Frank and Pat turn around and leave]
Amy: Mom. Dad. Please don't go.
Robert: It's a musical. We've got a part for you.

Debra: I mean, how long has this been going on, huh? What, did you celebrate the signing of your divorce papers with a quick roll in the hay?
Warren: No, sweetheart. It's just that when you spend half your life with someone, and then they're not there anymore, sometimes it gets lonely.
Marie: Then you lose your control of your urges and you do unspeakable things.
Debra: All right, Marie. So you don't like each other enough to stay married, but you have no problem getting together for all of that.
Lois: I don't know what to say, other than I guess getting together like that every once in a while just makes us happy.
Marie: If we all just did things that made us happy, this world would be a terrible place.
Debra: All right, Marie. You know, I'm not thrilled that my parents are standing in my living room in our sheets, but they're still my parents. What am I supposed to say to them, "I want you to be miserable for the rest of your lives, like some people"?
Marie: I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
Frank: I do.

Debra: Hey, cutie.
Ray: What?
Debra: Nothing. You're just cute.
Ray: What do you want?
Debra: Okay, I screwed up. You know how my mom is coming for Thanksgiving?
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: Well, last night I sort of invited my father too.
Ray: Oh, what are you doing? They're divorced. You can't invite them to the same place anymore. They legally agreed to not like each other.

Debra: It was an accident. He told me he was gonna be in Madagascar for Thanksgiving, so just to be nice, you know, I said, "Oh, it's too bad you can't come too. We're gonna miss you." And then last night, he called and said he put the whole trip off and he's coming.
Ray: Oh, why are you nice?!
Debra: I know, but your mom said that my mom can stay at your house, and the kids'll stay in one room. My dad'll take our room...
Ray: Whoa. You gave your dad my bed? The man sleeps naked and spoons the pillow.
Debra: I'll get the pillow out of there.
Ray: Get the man outta there.
Debra: He's got a bad back. He needs the firm mattress. I'm sorry, Ray. What can I do? Look, they're coming, and we just have to both suffer through it.
Ray: Yeah, by "we" you mean me and my pillow. And by the way, you knew about this last night, and all I get is, "Hey, cutie"?
Debra: What do you want? [After Ray looks suggestively at Debra, she walks off]
Ray: Yeah. I'm just saying, this took five minutes, that takes three.

Warren: So, R-R-Raymond how's everything in el mundo de los deportes?
Ray: What?
Warren: Hola. The world of the sports.
Ray: Ha. Good. It's good, good. Okay, I'm gonna go help the el wife-o el... [mumbles]

Debra: Well, why don't we call it a night? I have a lot to get ready for tomorrow's dinner.
Marie: Yes, and I should work on my just-in-case turkey.

Robert: Get the mean out of your system?
Frank: Nope. Looking forward to seeing Amy's parents tomorrow.

Ray: Your parents seemed to handle everything pretty good. They seemed fine with everything.
Debra: It was just an act. They're trying to make the best of an awkward situation.
Ray: You should be happy. Their divorce is better than my parents' marriage.