Ray: You know how much it meant to me to have a Mickey Mantle and what did you do? You brought home a fake.
Frank: Well, what was I supposed to do? I didn't know Mickey Mantle. And you wanted his autograph. So I went back for five games and I stood by the stadium door and Mantle never came out.
Ray: So you just got some trainer to sign it?
Frank: No, I signed it myself.
Ray: You signed it?
Frank: Yeah. I knew how much you wanted the thing so I practiced his signature over and over. Not a bad job huh? You know, if I could have gotten hold of the Mick's checkbook we'd be having this discussion on a yacht.
Ray: Why didn't you just tell me the truth?
Frank: Ah, I didn't want you to be disappointed. You're my kid. I don't blame you for being ticked off. I'm sorry I signed it. [Ray picks up the ball] What are you doing?
Ray: I want it now.
Frank: You mean that even though you know that ball's a fake, it still means something to you?
Ray: Yeah, Dad.
Frank: Then this Christmas, you're gonna love the Rolex I got you.