Ray: Oh, come on. It's not like you call my mom "Mom."
Debra: [scoffs] Yeah.
Ray: No, wait, wait. What are you scoffing at that for? Why don't you call my mom "Mom"?
Debra: What, are you kidding me?
Ray: Oh, yeah. See, huh? Yeah, it's easy to use the glue when you don't have to kill the horse yourself.
Debra: What?
Ray: No, no, I'm staying with that. That makes sense.

Debra: Oh, and I was also gonna borrow your big spoon if that's okay. I wanted to make goulash.
Marie: Oh, you're gonna try that again? Well, that's good, honey. Get right back on that horse.
Debra: Okay. Thanks. So, listen...
Marie: Oh, I almost forgot. I picked up a book for you.
Debra: "'A' is for Apron: A Beginner's Cook Book."
Marie: I saw that in the bookstore and I thought of you. Isn't that cute?
Debra: Yeah, that's just, uh, so typically thoughtful. I'm gonna go away now.

Frank: Hey, I tell you what. If it'll make you feel better, you can call me "Dad."
Debra: Thanks.
Frank: How about "Big Daddy"? I saw that in a movie once.
Robert: I don't get it, Deb. Why'd you want to call her "Mom" anyway?
Debra: I just thought it would be nice. Ray is calling my mom "Mom." But the difference is my mom is good and sweet and kind. Your mother, on the other hand, is...
Frank: Need some help?

Ray: All right, look, you were right, okay? Debra did go over there because she likes when I call her mother "Mom," and I told her she had to call you "Mom" because... I don't know. I just like to bother her. But, you know, she did something nice, Ma. And when you turned her down, you hurt her feelings.
Marie: How could I hurt her feelings if they're not real?
Ray: Look, I'm not pretending to understand any of this. But think about it. If her feelings got hurt, doesn't that mean they were real? I read somewhere that's like the test for feelings. Remember the Tin Man guy? "I know I got a heart because it's broken." And then everybody said, "Aw, poor Tin Man guy."

Debra: Hey. Help my mom with the bags, huh?
Lois: Hello, Raymond.
Ray: Oh, hey hey, let me get that for you there... Mom.
Lois: Oh, Raymond. I have to say, I just love hearing you calling me that.
Debra: Yes, Ray, I heard. Very sweet.

Lois: Well, the children are down, and I think that's gonna do it for me for tonight, too.
Debra: Thanks, Mom. Good night.
Lois: Good night, dear. Good night, Raymond.
Ray: Good night to you... and you, and you, and you. "Sound Of Music." I love that movie.

Debra: Why didn't you call her "Mom"?
Ray: I don't know. Why does anybody do anything?
Debra: I mean, you were doing it. And now you're not doing it anymore?
Ray: I was wondering, do I have to constantly say it? I don't call you the same thing every time, my hot little chuckle monkey.
Debra: Yeah, but you know she likes "Mom."
Ray: Look, I'm just I'm mixin' it up. I'm pickin' my spots. I'm keepin' it fresh.
Debra: I know, but I liked it that you two were getting closer. It was nice. It felt like a family.
Ray: Them's the breaks.

Debra: What do you mean she caught you? Have you been hiding it from her?
Ray: No. I'm just trying to make sure everyone in this family is emotionally groovy.
Debra: So you're just gonna cave in to your mother again.
Ray: Please?
Debra: Okay, Ray, fine. I just thought it was really nice for my mom, and for you, too. Things between you two seemed to be so healthy. Your relationship's really starting to blossom. But you want to ruin a good thing? Fine. It won't be the first time.

Debra: Is Marie around? I wanted to borrow her big spoon.
Robert: Oh, is that it?
Debra: Oh, yeah, thanks. [stands around]
Robert: You okay?
Debra: Uh, yeah. Yeah, I thought maybe I'd also say hi to Marie.
Frank: Why would you want to do something like that?
Debra: No reason. Just checking in.
Frank: Let me get her for you. Marie!
Robert: She will be with you presently.

Marie: What is it, Frank? You need to be burped?
Frank: Here you go, Deb.
Debra: Thank you, Frank.
Marie: What is it, Debra?
Debra: Oh, nothing. So, how are you, Ma...rie?
Marie: I'm fine, dear, thank you. How are you?
Debra: Oh, good. Just, uh, thought I'd say hello and check in.
Marie: Oh, how nice.
Debra: So hello.
Marie: Well, hello to you, too.
Robert: Scintillating.